Here are 20 techniques that I’ve coached clients on to help them improve their self-confidence. Take a look and try them out for yourself.
1. Think of a person who is confident, and then think, act, talk and walk just like them. Model their characteristics and behavior. It works for them; it will work for you.
2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! Smile when you walk down the street and when you meet people; they wonder what you’re up to. And you’ll put yourself in a good mood.
3. Learn from the past, regardless of the outcome; don’t beat yourself up about the things that didn’t turn out your way. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time. There are no failures, only feedback.
4. Treat yourself some new clothes, a complete detail of your car or get a message…treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
5. Be prepared. Are you prepared enough to meet your upcoming event? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? I would even take this to your personal safety…are you prepared? If not, get to it. As the Boy Scotts motto says, “Always be prepared.”
6. Develop and play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence. If you’re not sure of your strength’s ask a friend or colleague.
7. Develop your areas for improvement. Know and appreciate that you can’t be perfect at everything. Put a plan in place to improve them over time. If it’s an area of improvement that you can have someone else handle, personal trainer, a organizer or copywriter… hire them.
8. Learn to say “no.” Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back. Practice saying “no” and do not give a reason. Often we feel we have to justify saying no. Just say “no thank you” and leave it at that.
9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future. To help be more positive make a gratitude list. Write down 5 things you are grateful for everyday, you’d be surprised how this will change your attitude.
10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question or idea that you’ve asked yourself. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Be aware of your thoughts…after all, you are the one thinking them. Change the questions to be more positive, ask more “How can I?” type questions.
11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and ask, “Is this true?” So often we believe our thoughts…but most of them are made up and complete lies! Just because you had the thought doesn’t mean it’s true.
12. Become a Rhinoceros. Develop thick skin and don’t let the words of others affect you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m furious about this” say, “When this happen I chose to be annoyed.” Make a substitute list for the words that you use and know it’s your choice how to respond. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
14. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day. All too often we don’t give ourselves create for what we’ve done. The unconscious loves to be appreciated. By making a list and then thanking your unconscious you’ll be in a position to accomplish more…and feel really good about yourself.
15. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
16. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.
17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language. Exercising regularly makes huge improvements on your body language.
18. Emotion is created by motion. Like point 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.
20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?
I’d like to hear what you use to increase your self-confidence in the comments below.
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