20 Methods to Increase Your Confidence

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Here are 20 techniques that I’ve coached clients on to help them improve their self-confidence. Take a look and try self-confidencethem out for yourself.

1. Think of a person who is confident, and then think, act, talk and walk just like them. Model their characteristics and behavior. It works for them; it will work for you.

2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! Smile when you walk down the street and when you meet people; they wonder what you’re up to.  And you’ll put yourself in a good mood.

3. Learn from the past, regardless of the outcome; don’t beat yourself up about the things that didn’t turn out your way. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time. There are no failures, only feedback.

4. Treat yourself some new clothes, a complete detail of your car or get a message…treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.

5. Be prepared. Are you prepared enough to meet your upcoming event? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? I would even take this to your personal safety…are you prepared? If not, get to it.  As the Boy Scotts motto says, “Always be prepared.”

6. Develop and play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.  If you’re not sure of your strength’s ask a friend or colleague.  

7. Develop your areas for improvement. Know and appreciate that you can’t be perfect at everything.   Put a plan in place to improve them over time.  If it’s an area of improvement that you can have someone else handle, personal trainer, a organizer or copywriter… hire them. 

8. Learn to say “no.” Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.  Practice saying “no” and do not give a reason.  Often we feel we have to justify saying no.  Just say “no thank you” and leave it at that.

9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.  To help be more positive make a gratitude list.  Write down 5 things you are grateful for everyday, you’d be surprised how this will change your attitude.

10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question or idea that you’ve asked yourself. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Be aware of your thoughts…after all, you are the one thinking them. Change the questions to be more positive, ask more “How can I?” type questions.

11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and ask, “Is this true?”  So often we believe our thoughts…but most of them are made up and complete lies!  Just because you had the thought doesn’t mean it’s true.

12. Become a Rhinoceros.  Develop thick skin and don’t let the words of others affect you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.

13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m furious about this” say, “When this happen I chose to be annoyed.” Make a substitute list for the words that you use and know it’s your choice how to respond. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.

14. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.  All too often we don’t give ourselves create for what we’ve done.  The unconscious loves to be appreciated.  By making a list and then thanking your unconscious you’ll be in a position to accomplish more…and feel really good about yourself. 

15. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?

16. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.

17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language.  Exercising regularly makes huge improvements on your body language. 

18. Emotion is created by motion. Like point 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.

19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.

20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?

There ya go, by using your mental strength and following the points above you’ll not only improve your self-confidence, but you’ll increase your personal performance as well.

I’d like to hear what you use to increase your self-confidence in the comments below.

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  1. Thanks for the comment Ashlee. I do have other resources that go into this information in more depth. Two of them are my newsletter and podcast. If you haven’t done so, please subscribe to my newsletter and podcast.

  2. I do believe all of the ideas you’ve offered in your post.
    They are very convincing and can definitely work.
    Still, the posts are very short for beginners. Could you please prolong them
    a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.
    Ashlee recently posted…AshleeMy Profile

  3. Thanks Glinda for the kind words and taking time to read and subscribe! Glad you “found” this place of inspiration in vastness of the Internet :-)

  4. Hey there I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by mistake, while
    I was searching on Yahoo for something else, Anyways I am
    here now and would just like to say cheers for a incredible post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read
    it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more,
    Please do keep up the great job.
    Glinda recently posted…GlindaMy Profile

  5. I have one more idea to contribute: Go do something! Go sell something! Make something happen. When I am in “that place” I find something I can accomplish now and quickly! It always works for me.

  6. I agree with all the 21 points of building self confidence. I have actually added one other which is: maintain a healthy circle of positve friends.

  7. Hi Sairam, thanks for your comment…the short answer is yes! And there are different ways of delivering the message depending on the age and life experience of the person.

  8. Thanks for the comment. It’s not just reading blogs, books etc on positive thinking, it;s putting the information in action. That is why it’s called a”practice” Best of success with yours!

  9. The sad fact is that whenever I am completely down and I read some articles/ blogs for positive thoughts, it does not work at that time. I am still stressed, frustrated and totally let down. But still I do read it over and over again and it helps little. I dont know if I have found the right material that will give me the required boost. Please advise.

  10. One thing to do is keep reading this blog and applying what you have learned. The other is to request your free report. The request from is to the right in the sidebar. Best of success with your journey.