In these next series for personal development and personal success I like to talk about my favorite subject…beliefs!
This is a topic so large that I don’t pretend to know all there is to know about beliefs. I’ll only be scratching the service here and there are others out there that have more experience at beliefs then I do. But since thoughts, i.e. beliefs are the cornerstone of my coaching model I did want to share some information with you.
My goal is to give you enough information over the next few weeks that you will become aware and start to questions some, if not all, of your beliefs.
We are complex creatures. From the time that you were conceived to this moment when you are reading this post you have developed thousands of beliefs. Think of these beliefs as you would an iceberg. Some of the beliefs you can see, floating on the surface, like the part of the iceberg that can be seen above water. But most of the beliefs lay below the surface; we can‘t see them, but they are strong and powerful.
Remember the movie “The Titanic”, or the moment in history that the movie was built around, the iceberg was not seen and as a result a ship went down and many people lost their lives. Yet the ship was supposed to be the latest in design and some even said unsinkable. The iceberg however changed the history of the Titanic. Unconsciousness Beliefs sit below the surface just like the iceberg. They are the very core and strength of who you are…after values. They are you. Seeing them becomes very difficult. It is like trying to separate ourselves out from ourselves, which we know makes no sense and is not possible…isn’t it? So why even bother thinking about these beliefs if they are who we are and are so deep within us that we can‘t see them anyway?
Happiness, achievement of goals, personal success, fulfillment, utopia, is achieved by being aware of who we are. Knowing our beliefs means knowing who we are. Self awareness is a life time journey of understanding what makes us tick. The more we know about ourselves the more we can consciously decide what we want to continue developing in ourselves or what we find doesn‘t support our future personal goals and personal development.
It is a bit like renovating a building. The foundation stays in place but the bricks and walls are knocked down and a new design is created. An architect may need to reinforce the foundation or rebuild part of it. If an architect doesn‘t know exactly what constitutes the foundation, then the new design may tumble down and be destroyed, even killing passers by. Dramatic perhaps, but when we decide to map out our new goals and new journeys, we build upon a foundation that we are not always aware of. This can result in not achieving our goals or finding the journey troublesome and stressful.
A new design can only be constructed by using mental strength and on a very complete understanding of our foundation. When we want to make any changes to our lives we need to know the foundation that the changes will be built on. Knowing these changes also helps us to make sure that the foundation is aligned with the new changes or if the foundation needs to also go under a little construction. There may be some patching to be done or some complete removal of areas of the foundation to allow for the changes that are needed. However this must be done with complete understanding of what the foundation is and whether it is still aligned with who we want to be.
Our decision to renovate can be for a range of reasons. You may be deciding that you want your life to be more sustainable, or you may want to create more harmony – work life balance, you might want to achieve a new personal goal, or to reach for the stars and aim high with achieving your life purpose or you may want to be happy.
Whatever is the reason, your renovation needs to be built on a firm foundation. Knowing your foundation means that you will be building on from that point, constructing from the foundation upwards, rather than constructing from the roof first. We can sometimes be mesmerized by the height and view of things from the top. But the top is shaky if the foundation is not strong.
Self awareness is the first step to understanding what lies below the surface. It is the conscious observation of the way we think and act. It is the first step to gaining insight into what lays below the surface. Self awareness opens up an opportunity to see what the core beliefs are that drive your actions. These are the beliefs that are below the surface, or underlying beliefs. Unconsciousness Beliefs are thoughts or beliefs, which we hold on to about ourselves, our world and those around us, often without even realizing we are doing it. By looking at our Underlying Beliefs, we are looking at our beliefs and behaviors to identify how they support us to gain greater self-awareness and thus what we want from life.
The philosopher Immanuel Kant had an interesting way of describing human behavior and of tracing it back to underlying thoughts or beliefs. It goes like this:
- I see a tiger (perception)
- I believe that I am in danger (thought)
- I feel afraid (feeling/emotion) I run (behavior)
Most people mistakenly believe that their behavior is based on realities. For example, “I see a tiger, so I run”, would seem to them to be a perfectly logical connection to make, but what Kant was pointing out was that it is our thoughts or beliefs about the tiger that leads to our emotions and then to our behavior. Imagine you saw the same tiger in a cage at the zoo. Running away would be an illogical reaction, and yet you may still perceive the tiger to be dangerous and you may even feel a little afraid.
The challenging thing about our thoughts and beliefs is that we carry them with us and apply them to a range of situations, sometimes without even realizing it. Often when we do something that we don‘t consciously choose, we are simply acting on the thoughts, beliefs and emotions that we have picked up somewhere else, based on other, totally different circumstances. The simple reason why we fall into situations or have outcomes that we don‘t consciously choose is that we are acting in accordance with other deeper, more ingrained thoughts or beliefs.
What is an Unconsciousness Belief?
Every moment of every day we are continuously behaving in a certain way. Our behaviors are a reflection of our beliefs. When we think or feel something, we act this out. Imagine if you decided to place a video camera in front of yourself for 24 hours to observe what you do each day.
What would you notice about yourself?
As you know we now call this reality television. Watching people in their everyday lives intrigues us as we become involved in their lives and observe their behaviors. We determine a great deal about the participants in reality television just from watching their behaviors.
Generally, we can say that we are aware of some of our behaviors since we have made them consciously. When we decide to set goals for ourselves such as: getting married; saving money; losing weight; running a marathon; buying a house; learning to play the guitar; or getting a promotion, we are consciously setting goals and then new behaviors to achieve these goals. We then begin to create a list of behaviors to achieve these goals. This is a conscious decision, an awareness of creating new behaviors or of observing existing behaviors aligned with the goals.
There is, however, another kind of behavior – other than the conscious ones we have already described above. It is the behavior that is programmed into us based on a belief sometime ago. This is an Underlying Belief that was probably picked up somewhere in our lives as a result of a totally different set of circumstances or perceptions to the ones we may find ourselves in now. These beliefs are like the iceberg; they sit below the surface and cannot be seen.
Unconsciousness Beliefs often live alongside more conscious stated beliefs with no difficulty. We may make a conscious thought and follow through on it without any problem at all. We create that thought and manage to maintain it in our lives and gain fulfilment in that area. However, sometimes our conscious thoughts can conflict with, or even be in complete opposition to a belief and this is where they become problematic.
There are times when no matter how hard we “try,” we are unable to experience that which we say we want in our lives. We set a goal, keep trying to make it happen but it just doesn‘t occur. This experience can be frustrating and detrimental to our confidence and self esteem. But rather than judging ourselves, allowing this experience to define who we are, and developing or enforcing a belief as a result of this, the key is to use this opportunity as a place of exploration. By approaching the experience with curiosity and inquiry, you can unlock the belief that stops you from achieving your goal.
Let’s look at a belief you may have around learning. Ask yourself “What type of learner am I?” Observe where your thinking goes to when you are answering this question. Are you thinking back to your school experiences, are you equating the type of learner you are with the success you had in learning? All of these thoughts are based on beliefs you have about yourself as a learner.
Some of these beliefs may have been created by other people, such as parents, family, teachers etc. They may be positive beliefs or they may be negative beliefs such as you are lazy as a learner, not able to learn quickly, that you will never have enough knowledge or that you have to struggle to learn. These beliefs were given to you by someone else. You are now at a moment in your life where you can decide if you want to keep these beliefs or recognize that they were someone else‘s and not yours and so you are no longer going to believe in them. Take a breath and let them go.
Our negative Unconsciousness Beliefs are what continually sabotage our attempts to create a truly fulfilling life. Essentially, whenever we are frustrated from fulfilling one of our conscious commitments it is because there is an Unconsciousness Belief lurking in the background.
Another way of saying this is that sometimes we don‘t achieve our stated goals because, deep down, we are more committed to a different belief or even an opposing belief. There is some belief that is yet to be discerned. It is an Unconsciousness Belief, which prevents us from getting what we want. These beliefs are not only unconscious (underlying), but they are so automatic that they drive us despite what we say to the contrary. These beliefs are working away, continually causing the kind of outcome that we say we do not want in our lives.
This is great stuff, isn’t it?
Well I’m going to leave it at this for now. I think this is enough information, if you take it to heart and contemplate it, you’ll begin to discover, or at least…get a hint of some of your unsupportive Unconsciousness Beliefs that have been holding you back from reaching your personal goals and personal success.
If you don’t want to wait for the next post on unconsciousness beliefs and start a personal exploration on your own unconsciousness beliefs request an Introductory Consolation today.
Oh yea…the e-book “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” (also available in a Kindle version) goes over beliefs in more detail as well.
I’d like to thank ICA again for their support and inspiration for this topic.
OK…what do you think so far? Please let me know in the comments below.
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- Mental Strength Tip #33 – Common Sense and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
- Mental Strength Tip #36 – Dedication and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
- Mental Strength Tip #35 – Bravery and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
Success in life is not about luck! It’s about managed thoughts, focused attention and deliberate action. Personal success and personal failure all start in the mind. Tap into the power of your unconsciousness mind and eliminate negative beliefs that have been holding back from reaching your personal goals.
Take back control of your thoughts and your life! Grab a copy of Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today so that you can start living the life you’ve always dreamed of.
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Thanks Marty for sharing your story. It certainly reflects beliefs about your and your friends outlook
An old friend of mine came to visit this week. We were at school together. My friend has been pretty successful in his working life. Well I guess one could say he earns more than I do and has a more senior sort of job. As we reminiscing about school days, he told me that he always thought I was more intelligent than him. The difference was that he had more supportive parents. Not that mine were not, but his were more so. I suffered with low confidence and self esteem. It was deeply engrained, however I have learned to overcome much of that now.
My friend still admires me as he always did. I accept that as a true gift.