Are You Prepared To Be Uncomfortable?

I’ve been getting such a great response about people finding the courage to change and start to create a life of power, purpose and passion by beginning coaching with me.

I am truly blessed and honored.

“The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort.” – Confucius

Being Uncomfortable

When you put yourself on the path of expansion by committing to a goal that’s outside your comfort zone, you’re going to be given a lot of opportunities to expand. You are not going to be able to choose all those opportunities for expansion.

Our choice is either “expand” or “contract.” If you choose “expand,” you will expand – and you’ll always wish there were more comfortable ways of doing it.

Let’s say someone’s goal is to get her body in shape. The way this would happen, she imagines, is in a sparkling health club with chrome-plated barbells and Tom Cruise holding her feet while she does sit-ups. How, she wonders, will the money “materialize” so she can pay the queen’s ransom of a membership?

Meanwhile, in the first week after committing to her goal, her car runs out of gas, and she has to walk five miles to the nearest phone; an emergency happens at work and she is asked to fill in, packing boxes in the warehouse; her freezer is accidentally unplugged and all her ice cream melts; and, on the weekend, she goes on a spiritual retreat, hoping to get some rest.

All weekend, however, is devoted to what they call “dharma yoga,” which sounds nice in principle, but in reality is digging ditches, cutting down trees, and helping a pair of not-so-busy beavers build a dam.

At the end of the first week, she has lost two pounds, taken an inch off her waist, and looks better–but feels sorer–than she has in years.

This is how it happens. We get the Dream, but we don’t get to dictate every step toward the Dream.

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We can, of course, refuse to do an uncomfortable activity placed before us. When we know something might move us a step closer to our goal and we choose not to do it “because it’s uncomfortable,” we are also choosing not to pursue our goal. It’s that simple.

This refusal has two results:

• First, we are not one step closer to our goal.

• Second, the opportunities to expand – to reach the goal- will, in the future, be presented less frequently.

When we un-commit through inaction (honoring the comfort zone), the goal-fulfillment mechanism backs off, too. Our goal-fulfillment mechanism is not there to hurt us; it’s there to help us. If we indicate – through non-action – that we aren’t ready to take the steps necessary to reach the goal, it says, “Fine. Let me know when you’re ready.”

It’s as though we went to a friend’s house for the evening. After asking three or four times in the first hour if we wanted anything to drink, and receiving a “No, thank you” each time, our host would, naturally, ask less frequently, and, eventually, stop.

Whatever you find most uncomfortable in getting to your goal, be willing to do it. You may not have to do it, but be willing to. Your willingness will be tested. If you say, “I’m willing!” and the opportunity arises and you’re not, then you’re not being honest with yourself.

When a portion of the comfort zone is being expanded, it always seems as though expansion of any other part would be more tolerable, more acceptable. We want to put it off, postpone, and do it later, so some other part of the comfort zone can be challenged.

In fact, when that other part is challenged, it will seem as though this is the worst part of the comfort zone to expand, and any other area would be better than this. Discomfort always seems more tolerable anywhere other than the place in which it’s being felt.

The solution?

Plan to be uncomfortable.

Understand that it’s a necessary part of success. Learn to be comfortable with discomfort. Have compassion for the part of you that’s growing. The first step is a willingness to be uncomfortable.

Denis Waitley said “One of the best ways to properly evaluate and adapt to the many environmental stresses of life is to simply view them as normal. The adversity and failures in our lives, if adapted to and viewed as normal corrective feedback to use to get back on target, serve to develop in us an immunity against anxiety, depression, and the adverse responses to stress.

Instead of tackling the most important priorities that would make us successful and effective in life, we prefer the path of least resistance and do things simply that will relieve our tension, such as shuffling papers and majoring in minors.”

The next step is to realize which emotion from the comfort zone you’re feeling each time you feel “uncomfortable.”

Fear?

Guilt?

Unworthiness?

Hurt feelings?

Anger?

Observe it. See if you can locate it in the body.

As I mentioned earlier, fear is probably the most frequently felt of the comfort zone’s emotions.

Not only do we feel fear, we also tend to fear every other comfort-zone emotion. Unworthiness, for example, seldom has to make an appearance. The fear of unworthiness is enough to keep most people in check. If you feel fear, ask yourself if you’re fearing something, or if you’re afraid of feeling some other emotion.

The final step is turning your perception of each “negative” emotion into its positive counterpart.

Learn to see fear as excitement, guilt as the energy for personal change, unworthiness as the discipline to live your Dream, hurt feelings as caring, and anger as the energy for outer change.

This reprogramming can take some time. Do not, however, wait until you have the “conversion technique” mastered before moving – steadily and persistently- toward your Dream. Some people are past their first Dream and well on the way to their second before they can even locate the comfort zone’s feelings in the body.

For now, be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living your Dream.

Wanted to create the wonderful feeling of uncomfort? Then go ahead and request your Introductory Consultation today!