The Faces of Motivation And Your Personal Success – Part III

Personal Empowerment, Personal Performance No Responses »

Jun 142011

Welcome back! This is a series on “positive motivation” bases on a e-course I’m taking. The foundation of this is rooted in positive physiology.

These series, and the e-course takes a look at the different aspects of motivation and how they can affect your personal success and reaching your personal goals.

Again, so far we’ve been talking about the “why” and “what” of motivation. Today we’re going to explore systems for the achievement of personal goals.

The Goal Systems Approach to Motivation

This “goal systems” approach is in mechanistic in nature. It sees humans similar to robots that need to be correctly programmed in order to achieve their personal goals and objective. I don’t know about you, but I don’t resonate with the idea that we are like programmable robots! Although at some level we are all programmed, I like to believe that we can choose the programs to install.

Anyway, when this mechanical approach is combined with the humanistic SDT (Self-determination theory) approach, there is a very powerful resulting process.

To introduce the goal-systems perspective, let’s go back to the “why” question of motivation. SDT says it is best to do anything “because it is enjoyable” or “because I believe in it,” (intrinsic) and not “because I have to” or “because I ought to” (extrinsic).

But if you think about it, the “why” of many behaviors of yourself or others, it very often turns out to be a bit more complex than simply “how I feel about it.” Often one goal is related to another and they can be more accurately described by statements such as “because I needed to complete X before I could move on to Z” or “because X brings me closer to Z.” In this arrangement, X (the lower-level goal) supplies the “how” of Z (the higher-level goal), and Z supplies the “why” for X.

This is how I coach around setting goals. I have my clients determine an “achievable outcome”, something one year out. Then they set SMARTER goals for 1, 3, 6, and 9 months out. The we break it down into strategies, tactics and an action plan.

This has worked VERY well. So let’s take a look several points in a goals setting system.

Goal Systems Point 1: Hierarchical Organization

This point illustrates, action is hierarchically organized, that is longer-term goals, principles, and values set the agenda for shorter-term skills, processes, and procedures. Then the shorter-term action steps give the means of bridging the gap the between the present state and a desired future state.

In other words, short-term goals act like stepping-stones that help break up overwhelming goals and give us a clear path for progress. In NLP terms we call this “chunking down.”

Imagine, for example you want to write a book. If you sat in front of a blank page on your computer screen and thought about the overwhelming task of churning out a 350 page story, you might give up, even though it is a meaningful goal to you.

Instead, what you would do is chunk down writing the book into smaller goals. You might consider writing a page or a chapter per day. Then these smaller goals will seem much easier to carry out and still putt you on the road to the long-term goal.

Goal systems are how we pull ourselves into the future — first envisioning, and then actually creating, how we want things to be. In addition, most if not all of our momentary behaviors can be located somewhere within the overall system.

The ideal action system should have a clear set of characteristics. First, every goal, at every level, should be furnished with lower-level plans, skills, and procedures, that allow people to keep bridging the gap between the present state and desired future state.

Bringing this concept back to reality, ‘self-regulatory’ tools are necessary in order to pursue personal goals effectively and efficiently. That is, goals are not just products of random luck or the shotgun approach. Succeeding at them is not a matter of effortless trial and error.

Instead, we have to be in control of our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and often at a conscious level in order to succeed. First, we need to be able to keep the goal in mind; second, we need to be able to mentally compare it to our current situation, noticing discrepancies between the goal and the current situation; third, we need to be able to act effectively to bridge the gap, and fourth, we need to be able to detect when the discrepancy is gone (when we have achieved the goal!), so we can stop taking action and celebrate!

The Four Steps of Goal Systems

Keep the goal in mind
Evaluate our current situation, and be able to compare it to where we want to be in terms of the ultimate goal.
Understand what actions we need to take in order to reduce the discrepancy and move closer to the goal.
Recognize when we have achieved the goal so we can quit working and pat ourselves on the back!

Goal Systems Point 2: Goal Conflict

A second positive goal system characteristic is, goals should be consistent with each other, and not conflict with one another.

For example, it would be hard to simultaneously achieve the goals of becoming an Olympic level athlete and reading all of the masterpieces of world literature! The problem here would be a time conflict. There also can be material conflicts between goals, i.e. ”I want to own a private yacht and helicopter” but “I am dedicated to the idea of working in the non-profit sector for a low salary.” As well as logical conflicts between goals, i.e. to “become a more agreeable and cooperative person” may conflict with the goal to “aggressively grow my business by beating out the local competition”.

Chronic goal conflict is associated with chronic low-level stress and with increasing health problems over time, and thus it is worth the effort to untangle and sort out any such conflicts.

In NLP parts integration might be used to resolve these types of conflicts. People who actively pursue conflicting goals find themselves frustrated, ambivalent, or stretched thin.

So far we’ve discussed that in a “positive goal system,”

Desired outcomes should be helped by goals at lower levels of the system, and should help goals at higher levels of the system.
People should be able to realize when action is needed towards a goal, and take action effectively.
Goals should not conflict with other goals at the same level of the system, and ideally, would help and support those same-level goals.

So, how can we tell if these are the case?

One way is to diagram your own goal system thoroughly, and to explore the helpful and harmful interconnections between the different goals.

Goal Systems Point 3: The Importance of Success Expectancies

A very important issue for motivation, from the goal systems perspective, is a person’s expectancies for success. Having high expectations for success (or a high sense of self-efficacy) provides many resources.

For example, when unexpected difficulties emerge, high-expectancy people do not immediately become discouraged and withdraw their effort; No…dig into their mental strength and keep going, and why shouldn’t they, after all this is the warrior mentality.

They expect to succeed in the end. Having high expectancies also allows us to proceed with social confidence and conviction, persuading and selling others on our intentions and thereby securing their help and cooperation.

But what if a person’s expectations seem overly optimistic, unrealistic, or even self-delusory? This can happen, but there this is still an open question of “how unrealistic is too unrealistic?” The existing research suggests that overall, positive illusions provide more benefits than drawbacks, often helping people turn former illusions into current reality. As a result, the take-home message for motivators is:

Always display confidence in your or your friends’ abilities to do what needs to be done, and do not be too quick to criticize your or their high ambitions!

Goal Systems Point 4: Approach and Avoidance Goals Differ

Another important distinction from the goal systems perspective is between approach motivation and avoidance motivation. In NLP we take about “move away from” and “move towards” goals.

Approach motivation is working toward a desirable future outcome, such as making a sale or getting a new client, whereas avoidance motivation refers to trying to avoid an undesirable outcome, such as trying not to get fired or not becoming overweight.

Most goals fall into approach or avoidance. The research shows that approach framing is preferable — both for promoting greater performance and achievement, and for promoting better mood and feeling.

Why?

First, avoidance goals contain an implied reference to failure, which can in the end automatically cue failure. If I am trying not to fail, I am aware of failure as a constant possibility. Just think of when we tell children “Don’t spill your drink!” – and then they do – at least in part because we primed that thought in them!

Second, achieving an approach goal simply requires finding one path to success, from among the many paths that may be available; in contrast, achieving an avoidance goal requires avoiding (or fending off) all possible paths to failure. The latter is often more difficult.

Third, the goal system is built to take action, not to avoid action. This makes avoidance goals logically awkward to pursue.

The take-home message for motivators is therefore:

Try to use approach (moving towards) rather than avoidance (moving away from) framing, whenever possible.

This can extend even to goals like “lose weight;” as framed, this has an avoidance component (avoid weight), and might be better framed as “exercise more” or “eat better.”

Review:

In this post, we discussed the goal systems viewpoint upon motivation. This mechanistic approach, “positive motivation” means to be a high-functioning “robot”, with a well-constructed goal system full of action plans, strategies, skills, sensory acuity, and tactics, and with little conflict between goals. In this case, one makes swift progress towards the goals in the system.
Goal systems thinking can tell us a lot about the “how” and “why” of motivation, by showing which higher-level goals supply the “why” for lower-level goals, and which lower-level goals supply the “how” for higher-level goals. They can also further clarify the “how” with concepts such as planning, bridging the gap, execution intent, and preparation.
But we also noticed that goal system theories don’t talk about how the higher-level goals get into the system in the first place, i.e. did I really decide to become a doctor or this what my parents wanted?
This shows the importance of picking goals that represent one’s true values, interests, and dispositions, rather than the insistence of others – in this case the Self owns the goal system, rather than being owned by it.

OK…I hope you go a lot out of this post…I know I did! So…what are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments below.

References:

Carver, C., & Scheier, M. (1998). On the self-regulation of behavior. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
Carver, C., & Scheier, M. (1998). On the self-regulation of behavior. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
Emmons, R. A., & King, L. (1988). Conflict among personal strivings:
Immediate and long-term implications for psychological and physical wellbeing. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 10401048.
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. New York, N.Y: Freeman and Co.
Taylor, S. E., Kemeny, M. E., Reed, G. M., Bower, J. E., & Gruenewald, T. L. (2000). Psychological resources, positive illusions, and health. American Psychologist, 55, 99-109.
Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans. American Psychologist, 54, 493-503.
Bargh, J. A., Gollwitzer, P. M., Lee-Chai, A., Barndollar, K., & Troetschel, R. (2001). The automated will: Nonconscious activation and pursuit of behavioural goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81, 1014-1027
Elliot, A.J., & Sheldon, K.M. (1998). Avoidance personal goals and the personality-illness relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 1282-1299
Sheldon, K. M. & Elliot, A.J. (1999). Goal striving, need-satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The Self-Concordance Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 482-497.
Sheldon, K. M. (2002). The self-concordance model of healthy goal-striving: When personal goals correctly represent the person. In E.L. Deci & R.M. Ryan (Eds.), Handbook of self-determination research (pp. 65-86). Rochester, NY: University of Rochester Press.
Elliot, A. J., Maier, M. A., Moller, A. C., Friedman, R., & Meinhardt, J. (2007). Color and psychological functioning: The effect of red on performance attainment. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 136, 154-168.

Unconsciousness Beliefs and Personal Success – Part III (warriormindcoach.com)
Training Logs For Increased Athletic Performance (warriormindcoach.com)
Motivation! – When is it ever the right time? (beingasuccessfulwoman.wordpress.com)
Creating Action For Personal Success – Part VI (warriormindcoach.com)
Mental Strength, Commitment And Personal Success – Part III (warriormindcoach.com)
Setting Yourself Up For Athletic Success (warriormindcoach.com)
The Faces of Motivation And Your Personal Success – Part I (warriormindcoach.com)
The Faces of Motivation And Your Personal Success – Part II (warriormindcoach.com)

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Creating Action For Personal Success – Part III

Personal Develpoment, Personal Performance 2 Responses »

Mar 162011

Last week I continued with this topic of taking action for personal success. In Creating Action For Personal Success – Part I, I began with how creating action is not always easy, it does take mental strength. However it is critical to our feeling of personal success and achievement. Action is doing. It is experiencing something.

In Creating Action For Personal Success – Part II, I discussed some application from a coaching perspective that I use and you can utilize as well. Today I’m going to continue with…

Failure to Act

If you find yourself not willing to take action, or that you do commit to action but don‘t follow through, then there may be something blocking you from wanting to move forward. This is a strong indication that you may not be ready for the next step, at least at an unconsciousness level.

When this happens, ask yourself “What is holding me back, why do I not want to take action?” The answer is the first tip/hint of a limiting belief(s) that are interfering with your consciousness personal goals. Remember, the consciousness mind is the goal setter and the unconsciousness mind is the goals getter.

I have had clients that have a limiting belief of “This coaching thing is not going to work, it’s easier to just not changing.” When this belief is uncovered, it usually has to do with that I’m inadvertently pushing them in directions that’s not right for them, or not challenging them enough, or not recognizing and acknowledging the significant but small steps that they are making. I’ll then ask the question “What‘s the best way that I can support you now to move into action?” This question usually loosens up the limiting belief and then it can be handled.

The Past Does Not Equals Future

Each of us remembers certain events in our past as big dramatic stories of our lives. We often focus on why we are in our current situation and provide all the details leading to this situation. The implication is often that the state we are in now is an inevitable result of past actions and activities. Unfortunately the next logical step in this mode of thinking is that things have to stay the way they are and can‘t change for the better.

At some point you may be telling yourself, a friend or even a coach a detailed story about major events of your life. For example, in order to discuss seeking more fulfillment in your work, you may feel the need to tell someone how you got into your current job, why you are in this particular job and what main obstacles have prevented you from moving beyond the present job.

Often times these stories provide an important context for you to orient yourself and the listener to your future plans. However, sometimes these stories are a way of restricting forward movement. If you keep talking about the past, this is a red flag! Be alert enough and determine if you’re stuck there. Sometimes, looking back at the past and to continue to look back may be the very thing which is preventing you from moving forward.

If this is the case NLP, and Time Empowerment® work great mental strength tools that can resolve and neutralizing this issue.

Keep in mind that the information you are describing may be a mixture of both facts and personal interpretation. Specifically, when it comes to explaining all the reasons why you are where you are in your life. Be aware enough that you have developed your story to explain the way things are now. While all of the reasons feel “real” to you, they have all been constructed after the event. Contrary to popular belief, hindsight is not 20/20! We all look at the story of our past through the window of our present circumstances. If the event is dramatic enough the story or explanation is called a “Black Swan.” No…not the movie

The Black Swan Theory or Theory of Black Swan Events is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept that The event is a surprise (to the observer) and has a major impact. After the fact, the event is rationalized by hindsight.

The theory was developed by Nassim Nicholas Taleb to explain:

1. The disproportionate role of high-impact, hard to predict, and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations in history, science, finance and technology

2. The non-computability of the probability of the consequential rare events using scientific methods (owing to the very nature of small probabilities)

3. The psychological biases that make people individually and collectively blind to uncertainty and unaware of the massive role of the rare event in historical affairs.

How to Get Unstuck

When you keep living in the past or feel they are getting stuck in the past, you can use a number of techniques to shift your thinking forward. One way to simply ask yourself:

How would I like it to look/be?
What would I like in my life right now?
What have you learned about me from this past experience?
How can I apply the learning from this to my current situation?

Often this will do the trick.

If you find yourself continually dwelling in the explanations of the past rather than thinking about and answering questions about the future, this is the time for coach. After all…if you keep doing the things you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting things you’ve always gotten…and this is the cause of the “past” dialogue. A coach can help sort this out and assist you in getting refocused on the future.

Focusing on Strengths

Unfortunately in life there are some individuals are all too willing to focus on their weaknesses and shortcomings and very few people willing to focus on strengths. Some people mistakenly think that the goal of life is to eliminate their shortcomings. This simply denies themselves the opportunity to excel and shine and what they are good at.

Others think that it is their duty in life to point out the shortcomings in others. These people have accepted the myth of “constructive criticism.” The reality is that “constructive criticism” is never constructive at all. Sure there are ways to provide feedback, but constructive criticism is simply a persons opinion, and depending who they are, have no real basics for this comments.

We have also become trained in believing that knowing someone‘s weaknesses is the way to help them develop and grow. We ask people to make their weaknesses strengths and we even believe at times that we should be good at everything – no weaknesses. This perspective is damaging. Every person has strengths that are unique to them. It is what makes them special. To build on these strengths is to grow their uniqueness.

Here‘s an important mental strength secret: What we focus on grows. If we focus on our strengths, they will take us to great places, if we focus on our weaknesses, they will dominate your life and prevent you from moving forward and reaching personal success.

One of the best ways to move into action is to focus on your strengths and to acknowledge them. Your ‘weaknesses’ are only ever an issue if they prevent you from building on your strengths and achieving peak personal performance.

We all have weaknesses – however, unless they prevent us from achieving our goals, they are not worth the focus of a coaching session. In fact, they are not worth focusing on at all.

Did you know that the writer F. Scott Fitzgerald was a terrible speller?

No?

It didn‘t prevent him from writing The Great Gatsby, one of the most important novels in American literature, read by millions the world over. So why would you know about it? It simply doesn‘t matter.

If Fitzgerald had focused on overcoming his spelling, instead of on writing novels, what a waste to the world (and to himself) this would have been.

Setting Goals

Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has consciously or unconsciously followed through on a goal. Goals have the power to keep us focused on a purpose. They support us through difficult times when it may be tempting to give up. Personal goals create a future pull and pushed us to stay focused so we can achieve them.

One of the ways that a I support my client’s in creating in action is by supporting them to set and achieve goals. A person who wants to get the most out of life often has a number of goals simmering at the same time, in their personal and business life.

The extent to which individuals set goals and the level of detail of those goals varies enormously. Some people have a very general sense or vision of the direction that they want their lives to go and want support in making very short term goals that head them in that general direction. Other people respond well to elaborate goals and plans with detailed milestones and points of accountability leading for 5 or 10 years into the future.

Whatever the structure or form the goal takes, it’s essential to find someone that can provide a level of support and accountability that you not would otherwise have.

I’ll be continuing this topic next week. Until then please share your thoughts in the comments below

Find out more about taking courageous action and achieving personal goals and personal success by picking up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your future and develop the mental strength and mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

Great way to “kick start” your inspired action…take a look at The 2^nd Passage….this is a truly life transforming event!

I’d also like to thank ICA again for their inspiration and assistance on this topic.

I’ll be continuing this topic next week….Oh yea…did you get a chance to check out the new section on my blog “Warrior Mind Programming”? This is where I have some great audio programs designed to bring your brainwaves into a Alpha, Theta, or Delta state and create synchronization between the two hemispheres.

If this sounds Greek to you, no worries…I have complimentary direct download e-book on the page that explains everything! Once you have experienced this process you’ll understand, feel and see the affects.

Mental Strength Tip #31 – Creativity and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
Mental Strength Tip #32 – Your Code of Conduct and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
Mental Strength Tip #29 – Recovery and Personal Success (warriormindcoach.com)
Mental Strength Tip #23 – Criticism vs. Advice (warriormindcoach.com)
Taking Action For Personal Success – Part I (warriormindcoach.com)

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Taking Action For Personal Success – Part I

Personal Develpoment, Personal Performance 2 Responses »

Mar 022011

As the quote at the top of this blog says:

“Success in life is not a matter of chance; It’s about managed emotions, focused attention and deliberate action.”

Nothing…absolutely nothing happens without action!

As Tim Armstrong says in his song ‘Into Action’

“Let’s get moving into action

Let’s get moving into action

If your life’s too slow, no satisfaction

Find something out there, there’s an attraction

If you hesitate now, that’s a subtraction

So let’s get moving girl into action”

The lyrics above in the above song drive home the meaning of creating action. If you don‘t take action then there is no satisfaction…and most likely a subtraction. Movement created by taking action creates a momentum and this in turn shifts us out of our current situation. This movement, shifts the energy in our bodies and helps to even change our perspective…motion creates emotion.

This is very apparent when having to make a decision. Remember a time when you had to make an important decision. You probably weighed up all the information, went back and forth, weren‘t sure which way to go forward or which decision to make. While this was going on you may have felt a great level of anxiety, not knowing what the future held for you until you made your decision. Finally the time comes when a decision must be made. You choose and in that moment, you take a big breathe and release all the anxiety and feel relieved. This is the beauty of creating action. It moves you to a new space, time, and journey towards your personal goals.

Creating action is not always easy, it does take mental strength. However it is critical to our feeling of personal success and achievement. Action is doing. It is experiencing something. Action is an opportunity for you to experience something new, to learn. Action is about your development and your personal growth. To take action is like a plant growing. If the plant doesn‘t grow, it dies. How many times have you observed people who are not passionate about life, who are not happy in life? At some point in time these people chose not to grow, to stop developing themselves, to stop taking action. Now you can see the results of this. Taking action can be fearful as there is uncertainty around taking action and you won’t know where you are moving to or what the “other side” of taking the action will bring you. So the choice is to either never know and to stay still or to take the action and to create the life you want, to grow and develop and learn and blossom, like the flowers on a healthy beautiful tree and reach your full potential and peak performance.

To create action requires personal discipline. The result of this personal discipline is personal success and personal achievement by achieving your personal goals. There are times when we may be tired or other events are happening in our life that distracts you. It is at this moment in time that you need to get focused again. Loss of focus means loss of action.

Lets look at Peter’s story to understand the importance of creating action.

Peter was working in a large furniture store as the manager. He had a background in accounting and managed several staff. He loved managing a business and had many business colleagues that he regularly networked with. He volunteered to be on the board of the local hospital and was very active in this role. He was highly regarded in the community in which he lived. He was married and had two children and had recently purchased a new home, which he was repaying.

One day a colleague of his mentioned a new role for a manager in the hospital. The person they were looking for had to have good accounting skills and managerial skills. Peter‘s experience of being on the board meant that he knew the business well. The hospital administration spoke to Peter and suggested that he apply for the position as he was highly regarded and would most likely be successful in his application given his skills and board responsibilities and involvement. Peter went away and spoke to his wife about the job opportunity. This was exactly the career direction that he wanted to go in. This would really challenge him and stretch him in his development as a manager.

However he also knew that there was not as much job security in this role as the hospital was vulnerable to government funding changes. His wife outlined how they had just purchased a new home and that their children were now going to school and that although the new job would give them extra revenue, the job security was a concern. Peter weighed this all up. He knew his current role really well and was highly respected by his staff. A change this big would have many ramifications on his family and his life. He would have to work longer hours in getting up to speed with the new job, it was a much bigger job in terms of responsibilities and skill.

After much deliberation, Peter decided it was safer and easier to stick to what he knew rather than make such a big change. The job security also concerned him and as he made his final decision not to apply for the new job, he felt a feeling of sadness overwhelm him. Over the next few years, Peter lost motivation and gradually started to loss confidence. His decision to stay in what he knew meant that he also had resigned himself to not having to learn or stretch himself any more. His disappointment at not taking the job and facing his fears around it, had left him in a still place.

As the years passed, so too did the security around the furniture business until finally the store closed. Peter found himself looking for work and resorted to asking a friend to help him. His confidence in finding a new job was very low and he chose to help out his friend in business instead of taking on a new career challenge. The new role with his friend required less skill and slowly overtime Peter became dependent on his friend to provide him with work. Peter didn‘t participate in any courses, didn‘t develop himself in any new way. He stopped his community involvement and his enthusiasm slowly faded. He didn‘t enjoy his job but he didn‘t feel he could find another job or had the confidence to go in search of one.

Peter‘s story is all too uncommon today. The choice he made many years ago was made around creating safety and fear of change. His wife was also fearful of the changes a new career would bring. Peter stopped taking action, Peter stopped learning, Peter stopped developing himself, Peter stopped growing…Peter did not reach personal success.

Personal Success

Is the achievement of the things in life we are passionate about
Is not what we have been told or instructed to believe
Is personal and can only be achieved when measured against the goals we have set for ourselves.
Is a change in the way we view life.
Is moving forward
Is using your mental strength to take action
Feels great

Application

Creating action can be challenging – what next step to take, how to take it, etc. Let‘s go through a process to get you into action.

You are sitting in a café drinking coffee and it is five years from now. You pick up a newspaper and read a story about yourself.

What does the story say?
What have you achieved, what are you known for?
Draw or write what you see
List all the things you have achieved by this time?
How are you feeling now that you have achieved these goals?
Can you visualize yourself?
What are you most passionate about?
Write a list of the top 5 things you have achieved in your success journal
Priorities this list. What is number one all the way to five?
Under each item identify 5 steps you could take to begin to achieve this goal?
If you dare…share this information with someone you trust and who will support you…or perhaps a coach
Tell this person how you want them to support you in achieving these 5 steps and 5 goals.
What is the first step or action you need to take now to achieve these personal goals?

After you have gone through this process observe the increase in energy in your body. It is very exciting to be thinking about moving forward, achieving your Vision you have just created. There will be times along the way on your journey to achieving your vision where you feel as though you have lost sight of it. Anchor these feelings now so that you can think and feel back to this time and the energy levels you had and the feelings you had at the moment in creating your vision and getting clear about it.

Think about the first action steps you took and what you have achieved so far. Acknowledge your achievements. Bring yourself back to the moment of energy positively flowing through you, the excitement rising again. Exercise, meditate, do yoga, or whatever you need to do to bring yourself back to this moment of energy and focus. Think about what you have already achieved and what you are grateful for. Notice how you are now feeling. You will notice that your energy has gone from an inward reflecting, perhaps even negative self talk conversation to an outward focus. This shift in energy will propel you forward and you then need to work out what is your next action step.

Contemplation

Describe a time when you felt like you were really moving forward. What did you put in place in your life to create this?
What supports do you have in your life to achieve your goals and to keep you moving forward?
You have completed the action process above, how are you feeling?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below

If you’d like to find out more about how to take courageous action and step into your personal power so that you can achieve personal success, pick up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

How ever…if you are feeling really “stuck” I would strongly suggest taking a look at The 2^nd Passage….this is a life transforming event.

I’d like to thank ICA for their inspiration and assistance on this topic.

I’ll be continuing this topic next week.

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Change Your Life – The Rise and Fall of Familiarity

Mental Strength No Responses »

Oct 262010

Let’s face it…people like what’s familiar. After all, what ever you did yesterday kept you alive, and most likely will work today. We are naturally inclined to use old habits of behavior and thought for survival and personal performance.

This is a double edge sword.

If what you’re doing is more then just keeping you alive and helps you get closer to your goal, then fantastic! If however what you’ve been doing is simply keeping the status quo, well you might as well kiss you dreams of personal success good-bye!

The funny thing is that we may think we’re doing something new, but when you take a deeper look at this action, it’s simply relabeled by our ego. After all, change is very disturbing to the ego and it will do everything in its power to make you believe you are doing something new, when in reality you’re doing the same old, same old.

I talk about this phenomenon in my e-book “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” and call the ego the ‘great trickster.’ It will trick you into believing that you are doing something new just so that we can get the same results and keep the ‘great trickster’ happy.

This is where mental strength comes in. If you’re felling very different about a specific action, i.e. fear, avoidance or even anxiety, this is a good, keep doing it.

Also, when you’ve been doing something new for a while (whether it’s going to the gym, tidying your desk or changing your thinking) its typically smooth sailing until you start to change. Then your nervous system sets off the alarm bells, and you start to feel like you start making up a ton of excuses like “I can’t be bothered to do it anymore.”

This is the signal that it’s working. When you feel that ‘can’t be bothered’ feeling, pat yourself on the back. What you’re doing differently is working, and you’ve got evidence…now go do more of it!

Remember, people like what’s familiar, so if you’re feeling comfortable in your current situation use your mental strength, program your subconsciousness mind and take different and unique action. This will improve your personal performance and get you closer to your personal success.

OK, how do feel about this? Please let me know in the comments below

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Gratitude – The Manifestation Accelerator

Mental Strength 10 Responses »

Oct 192010

Gratitude is the manifestation turbo-charger. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful feelings for bringing what you desire for personal success.

When a person thinks about the things, people and experiences that they’re grateful for, their awareness of the good in their life increases, and they start to feel good. What you focus on increases, so the more you feel good about all there is to be grateful for, the more will show up. This energy can then be transmuted into personal peak performance.

Go ahead, make a list right now of some of the things you’re grateful for, and then think about it any time you accidentally start to worry about what you haven’t got. Gratitude is the manifestation turbo-charger.

Part of gratitude is also acknowledging your subconsciousness mind for its help. By recognizing, acknowledging and giving gratitude for what you have NOW, you’re “training” your subconsciousness mind to deliver more of the same.

Imagine you have a dog and you’re playing fetch. You throw a ball (you intention) and you faithful dog (you subconsciousness mind) brings it back to you. But instead of being grateful, you instead get annoyed with the dog and toss the ball in the trash. Now imagine repeating this over, and over, and over, and over and…well you get the picture.

How long do you think that dog would continue to go get the ball without being acknowledged?

I can tell you from personal experience, not very long.

So gratitude is not just about appreciating what you have, it’s also acknowledging your unconscious` mind that it’s doing a great job! In turn your U.M. will want to do MORE for you,

Yes, sometimes it can seem to find things to be grateful for and it may take mental strength. But by imaging NOT having what you DO have, you can get a sense of truly how successful you are right now.

Then with the help your loyal companion (U.M.) you can continue on your quest for peak performance and personal success, knowing the more you are grateful for the more will come your way.

Take a look at this video about gratitude and see how you feel:

[hdplay id=2 width=400 height=400 ]

I’d like hear from you and three things you are grateful for right now, in the comments below.

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Emotions are Like Amplifiers, How Loud Are Yours?

Mental Strength, Personal Empowerment No Responses »

Oct 122010

Emotions are amplifiers: they’re the driving force that increases what you focus on…good or bad.

If you want to turn a small problem into a large one, it’s not enough just to have the problem, i.e. confronting someone about an issue, but you need to worry about it…over ad over and over again. Each time creating a more intense and unpleasant experience. I’m sure you’ve experienced this right?

You have to confront a co-worker or friend about something they did or said. By the time you actually get around to talking to them you’ve played the scenario over so many times in your mind that your body is full of anger, irritation, frustration or a myriad of other emotions and you’ve created a drama filled story that is worthy of an Emmy Award.

Fortunately, this process works both ways…for amplifying nice things…and not so nice things.

This is a good thing for personal success and personal performance, wouldn’t you agree?

In fact, the same principle applies with anything you want to ‘increase.’ Form an internal image of what you wish to increase you then feel an emotion. Emotions are powerful, and can move us to take action. The actions we take are always an expression of the thoughts we have been thinking (i.e. the things we’ve been focusing on), and its emotion that lets us know (unconsciously) which actions to take.

This is the foundation of my coaching, the TFAR model

Thoughts lead to Feelings that lead to Action (or lack of) and create Results.

Emotions are the difference between ‘knowing you should’ go to the gym (but not doing it), and ‘knowing you shouldn’t’ eat a chocolate cake (but eating it anyway).

Emotions are the difference between peak personal performance and “I almost made it.” Emotions are the difference between “I can do that later” and achieving personal success.

One of the most useful emotions for amplifying the positives in your life is gratitude; I touched on this in yesterday’s post.

So remember, emotions are amplifiers and be aware of how loud yours are and what they are shouting. It does take a degree of mental strength to be aware and with practice it does become second nature.

Now I’d like to hear from you about emotions and they control you or do you control them in the comments below.