This is a follow-up to Part I of my post on Action vs. Delay
My coaching, ICA, has been such a great inspiration and source of information for this post, I’d like to thank them again!
In order to achieve a goal and personal success, we must be ready willing and able to take action. Without consistent and persistent action, the goal will not be achieved. It is for this reason that action is at the heart of my coaching practice.
Action is described in the dictionary as ?”the process of doing something in order to achieve a purpose.” Action is extremely powerful and is the catalyst used in my coaching to create change and personal empowerment. It is important for us to recognize that nothing happens without action. In order for us to achieve different results in our lives, we must DO things differently.
To create change in our lives and move forward in achieving personal success, we must take action. We can spend our entire lives dreaming, thinking, planning and preparing to accomplish our goals, but without action, those goals and dreams will never be anything more than a desire. It is true that we must first know what it is that we want to accomplish before we can move forward but in order to get from point A to point B, our success essentially comes down to acting on our knowledge and plans and taking the steps necessary to move forward. By taking action, we create the movement that is necessary to make things happen.
If we look at action as an accelerating force that moves or pulls us forward, we can also look at delay as an accelerating force that pulls us back and keeps us stuck. Delay works in opposition to action. There are many factors that feed each of these forces. A Native American story illustrates this concept:
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles to a friend.
“Inside every man there are two wolves.
The Bad wolf is mean and angry.
The Good wolf is good and kind.
The Bad wolf fights the Good wolf all day.”
When asked by the friend which wolf wins, the elder reflected for a moment and replied,
“The one we feed the most.”
Just as in this story the Bad wolf fights the Good wolf; delay opposes or “fights” action. The better we can manage the decelerating force of delay, the more acceleration and momentum we will experience in moving forward.
Self Application
Sometimes we feel that being in action all the time is too exhausting, even not possible. How many times have you heard someone say that they can‘t be in action all the time, that it is just not natural?
We may convince ourselves that being in action is not always possible. Let‘s look at what being in action looks like. Being in action doesn‘t only mean running marathons, climbing mountains, acquiring businesses, finding a partner, We can sometimes feel that action is huge and therefore must be about physical movement and that movement must be huge or we are just not successful or moving forward. This is not the case.
A small thought can create a huge shift which in turn can change our whole life. This is action. Reading, thinking, meditating, reflecting, writing, talking, coaching, walking, mentoring- all of these steps create movement and movement is action. Sure we can talk and talk and not move forward, but with a good coach this is not possible. All of these steps require us to want and to be open to moving forward. They all then become forward movements. This is action.
However we often confuse action with the achievement of a goal or the outcome of a goal. The huge achievements above, marathons, etc are not an action step. They are a total of action steps. You don‘t win a marathon by waking up and going to the track and winning. It has planning, training and great thought put into it. When we are not in action we often think of these goal outcomes as the next step, so we don‘t get started. The end result is not the action that needs to occur right now. We have that end result as a guide, a vision, a dream, a goal, not an action step. Imagine the role of parenting for a moment to see the role of action.
A new baby is born. The first thing the parent wants is the child to be healthy not to be able to walk and talk instantly. Over several years the progress of a child is celebrated, every action is recorded- a little smile, a grin, the first mouthful of food, and so on. Until after many years the child is walking and talking. Yet as adults we may expect to achieve years of action steps in the next ten minutes. We live in times of immediacy. We want success now. What ever happened to the training we had as children, to celebrate each step and to be present and enjoy the moment. Action is the process, the goal is the outcome. By entering the process, you are in action. The process is fundamental to the achievement of the goal. It is the path to growth, learning, self esteem and confidence. It is action.
Delay is being afraid, worrying, getting stressed, feeling tense, uncertain. Action is certainty.
So what causes delay?
If we know that action creates the results that we desire, why do we delay things?
People get stuck when their fear, limiting beliefs, commitments, judgments or Underlying Beliefs (UBs) are greater than their motivation to move forward in action.
Fear- It is fear that steps in the way and prevents us from moving forward. This fear may stem from many causes. Some of us fear failure. We may fear making mistakes. Others may fear success or change. The way fear impacts us is that it literally freezes us. It turns us into a hard frozen block, giving us no flexibility or flowing movement. If you take this analogy even further fear makes us cold, rigid and static. We dare not alter the temperature or the environment as it could cause a meltdown. But we must move forward and the only way to do this is that we have to change. We must open ourselves to moving forward. We must recognize that the fear is greater than the change. We must make a shift. We must take one step forward….this will create personal empowerment.
Limiting beliefs/ Judgments- It can be our own limiting beliefs or judgments that hold us back from being in action. For example – we may believe that we don‘t deserve to achieve a particular goal; we may believe that we are not smart enough; we may judge the financial gain that comes with success as “bad‘; we may have a belief in futility, so we take the attitude of why bother, it won‘t work. We may believe that we will never amount to much and accept this belief. To move forward we first need to understand what our beliefs are. How do they impact the way we think and believe?
Commitment – If we are not committed to taking action then we just don‘t. You know that familiar story of “Tomorrow I am going to join the gym.” Yet it never happens. If we are not committed to joining the gym then we won‘t achieve the first action step to doing it. Tomorrow comes; we wake up and convince ourselves of all the reasons why we shouldn‘t go to the gym. Perhaps for some reason we have come to believe that the goal of going to the gym should be our goal. We see others achieving it, we know it is good for us, but it just isn‘t happening. We are not committed to this action. Instead of beating ourselves up over not achieving going to the gym we should look at what is the action that we want to take to move forward.
UBs or behavioral patterns- Whether we are aware of it or not, a certain pattern of behavior that is so automatic to ourselves may be hindering us from taking action. This behavior is so much a part of us that we don‘t and may not be able to see it. For example, an underlying beliefs might be to be unsuccessful; to feel safe; to not become responsible or “blamed” for something; or to avoid “failing” at something from the very start therefore taking no action. Just writing down some of our behavior patterns around achieving action can move us forward. Another list could contain all the behaviors we take when we delay.
Next week I’ll finish up with action vs. delay.
My e-book, “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” can assist you tremendously in moving from delay to action. If you’d like to experience Coaching for Success request your Introductory Consultation.
Please let me know your thoughts so far on this series on the comments below.
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