In fact, I’d bet that right now in your life, there is some particular pattern of fear that is holding you back from being closer to the very best that you can be and enjoying life more.
- Maybe you’re afraid of quitting your job and going into business for yourself.
- Maybe you’d love to approach that “dream” man or woman who’s caught your attention, but you’re worried about rejection.
- Maybe you’re afraid of heights, spiders, or even failure.
Whatever fears people have, we’ve all mastered the ability to connect the emotion of fear to almost any trigger.
Actually, we are born with the ability and tendency to do this, and it’s mostly a very good thing as it protects us from real physical dangers out there.
The problem is that sometimes we also learn to fear a lot of things that we or others know are actually very safe and also good for us.
Right now, I’m sure there are fears you have that you know are ridiculous and that you know are not useful for you in any real way.
However, that understanding doesn’t free you, does it?
This is because, as I explained before, logic is ineffective when it comes to helping us direct our automatic emotional patterns.
So, how can we outgrow some of the fears that stand in our way?
But first I want to ask…why is it that so many people are afraid of the 9-letter word…
…“Rejection.” My question is, how on earth can someone “reject” you if they don’t know you in absolute detail? In dating situations, what you might label as “rejection” has nothing to do with “you” but rather the other person’s unconscious reflex-response in response to how you presented yourself in that moment, combined with their current emotional state, preferences, prejudices, learned likes, dislikes, AND patterns of jumping to stereotypical conclusions about who people are based on tiny, non-verbal cues that you’ve given off.
Anyway…I just wanted to through that in here…OK, back to process.
Well, there’s a quick little-known technique that I learned years ago from an old teacher, but very few people—psychologists, self-help experts, the general public, or otherwise—seem to know about it.
I gave up teaching it as it’s not quite as effective as the complete program that you’re about to go through AND it does have one huge upside…
It can be taught in just two or three minutes and works for about 70% to 80% of the fears people have.
That makes it a perfect way to end this introduction because I really want you to experience the truth, which is that you honestly can make important changes in minutes even when it comes to things that are typically the hardest for us to change in our lives: our fears.
- Choose a strong fear that you get in a particular situation, which holds you back in life (you should get scared just by thinking of it).
- Feel the fear, at least a little. Instead of running away from this fear as you may usually do, let yourself actually feel it. Don’t indulge in the fear, but just feel it enough to do the next step.
- Notice where the feeling starts. As you feel that fear in your body, notice where it starts and where it moves to (it will probably begin in your stomach and move up toward your chest and/or throat).
- Imagine pushing the feeling out of you and seeing it spin as if it’s a wheel in front of you. Notice, does it spin forward or backward? If for some reason you’re not sure which way it’s spinning, just guess, as people almost always guess correctly. Also, if you’re not able to visualize easily, just move your finger in the direction it is spinning.
- If you’re okay at visualizing, you can even add a color to the fear as you watch it spin around. Either notice the color it already has, or give it a color you think is appropriate for the feeling of fear (a lot of people choose red, for example). If you can’t visualize this, it’s okay.
- Turn the wheel upside down, so it’s now spinning in the opposite direction. As you do this, if it had a color before, notice that now the color has changed to the opposite of fear (e.g., a calming blue or white).
- Pull this new feeling back inside you so it moves in the reverse direction to the old fear (i.e., down from throat or chest, towards your stomach). Make sure you keep spinning this new feeling in the new direction.
- As you spin your new feeling faster and faster, think of the same thing that scared you before. And, as you do this, you’ll probably notice that you feel quite differently now about what you used to fear.
- Now, get out there and make things happen in your life!
So, how’d you do?
If you’d like to have more tools to move forward in life, pick up a copy of Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior today!
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