This final installment of ‘Fitness, NLP and Personal Performance’ (inspired by an article by Robert Dilts, Daniel Dilts and Lily Dilts.) can play an important role in fitness and personal performance.
I’d like to discuss how clearing the past can create a smooth future.
Clearing the Past
In working with diet and weight issues, it is also useful for fitness coaches to help clients understand the difference between themselves and food, what food is for, and what their internal “programming” is regarding food. Some people, for instance, “live to eat” rather than “eat to live.” Frequently, these people have addictive personalities or enjoy food beyond enjoying themselves. In some people’s minds, their joy in life comes from sitting down and eating something, trying to satisfy a never-ending need.
This is where NLP can be especially handy for fitness coaches. NLP techniques, such as those involving Time Empowerment® work, can be very useful to help bring such a person back into his or her past in order to discover the situations that triggered unhealthy eating habits leading to weight gain. This can be a very emotional process, but once people find such triggers, the issues can be addressed directly rather than trying to resolve them through food. It does take more than one or two sessions to identify and reprogram the problematic thought process. Taking this time, however, can help lift the burden off clients so that they are able to move forward with their lives.
For example, a client struggled with eating and weight issues. The source of this struggle was her feeling that she didn’t deserve to be happy. Through NLP and fitness coaching she explored the origin of this feeling and discovered that she came from a rural, blue collar background. Having grown up in a poor but hard working community, she felt guilty that she was more successful than her friends and relatives. She was afraid that if she embraced her success, she would lose it all. Overeating and being heavy was a way of punishing herself for her success, so that she wasn’t perfect.
Once this was discovered the client was able to reframe the part of herself that felt guilty for succeeding. As a result, she was able to change her perception of success and find other, more satisfying ways to share and celebrate her accomplishments with her family and friends.
Another client struggled with her weight for a different reason. She had recently broken up from a long-term relationship with a particular man. In exploring her unhealthy relationship toward food, she discovered that she was doing it as a way to punish both herself and her old boyfriend. A part of her thought was, “I’ll show him and get huge. I’ll punish myself, then he will feel sorry for me for being unhealthy and overweight.” This realization allowed to her to reevaluate her feelings toward herself, her ex-boyfriend and food, and to get satisfaction by taking care of herself rather than punishing herself.
By exploring the events that triggered her unhealthy eating habits, another person discovered that her conflicts about fitness stemmed from the fact that she had been molested by her father when she was a child. She placed much of the blame for this situation on her mother, who always wore a lot of makeup, and she thought of as a “slut.”
As a consequence of her family history, she did not want men to look at her. She hid behind her weight, choice of drab clothing and lack of makeup. After working with the lady using the NLP Change Personal History technique to bring new resources to herself and resolve these past events, she went home, dressed up and put on makeup for the first time. This was the beginning of a series of positive changes that she claims has “changed her life.”
Triggers and beliefs that come from the past are not only limited to weight and food issues. Another lady, for example, was a ski instructor who was involved in fitness training in order to get to the next level in her profession, but she found herself “holding back.” An exploration of her resistance revealed that she felt she “shouldn’t do things boys can do.” Her belief was, “If I am fit, I will compete with men. Girls don’t do that.” With the help of an NLP fitness coach the lady reflect upon the origin of this feeling, she recalled that her mother had discouraged her from being athletic. It turned out that she had an older brother who was not interested in athletics at all. She would use the equipment her parents bought for her brother and her mother thought her father would “have a fit” if he found out.
By going back on her time line to explore the situation more deeply, this lady realized that her father did not mind at all. As a result, she was able to let go of the concern that she had picked up from her mother’s well-intentioned but erroneous messages and reach her goals on the ski slopes.
One more example is of man who was thin and athletic but had suffered a back injury. He came to fitness training in order to regain his strength after surgery. He sometimes found himself listless and demotivated, however, because he had lost a lot of money in the stock market as a result of the “dot-com” crash. The coach found that it was important for him to do a lot of listening and be an outlet for man’s concerns in order for him to be able to keep up with his training.
Reframing Inner Resistance
To successfully reach our goals we must be congruent about getting what we want. This is another aspect of the “inner game” of fitness. Sometimes it seems like parts of us are resisting or uncooperative. Other times, we have to struggle against old patterns, responses and habits. Rather than simply fighting with ourselves, it is important to acknowledge and communicate with all parts of ourselves.
Reframing is an NLP process for addressing inner conflicts and resistances, and for finding other ways to get what we want without engaging in negative or unwanted behaviors. Reframing is based on the principle of “positive intention.” The principle of positive intention states that at some level all behavior is (or at one time was) “positively intended.” Another way to say it is that all behavior serves (or at one time served) a “positive purpose.” The positive intention behind eating candy, for instance, might be to “get comfort” or “reward yourself.” “Comfort foods” often serve the positive purpose of “showing appreciation or love,” “sharing a good experience,” etc. In other words, every behavior or response is aimed at getting for a person something that he or she wants.
Once the positive intention behind the seemingly negative behavior has been discovered, resources and alternatives are much more easily found. It is important to have other choices that are at least as effective for fulfilling the positive intention of the problem behavior in order to appropriately address the obstacle. If there are no alternatives, the risk is that you will become conflicted internally or become overly rigid or dogmatic.
Rather than feeling mistrustful, guilty or ashamed about difficulties, the recognition of your own positive intention leads to trust in your positive intent and gives a specific strategy for finding other alternatives rather than becoming frustrated with the typical “trial and error” (or “trial and horror” as it is sometimes called) approach.
The reframing process involves understanding and communicating with yourself, rather than blaming or punishing yourself. The basic steps involve:
- Identifying the problematic feeling, response or behavior. What behavior or response is getting in the way of achieving your fitness goals?
- Discover the source of the problematic feeling, response or behavior in your past. When did this pattern of behavior start and what were the conditions under which it began?
- Finding the positive intention or motive for the response or behavior. What is that behavior getting for you or trying to do positively for you?
- Identifying alternatives and resources that address the positive intention, but without the negative consequences. What other ways can you get that benefit? What resources and understandings do you have now that you did not have at the time that this pattern started? (Find as many as you can.)
- Enlisting the cooperation of all of your inner parts to try a new choice. Which new alternatives and resources would you be willing to try? (Choose at least three.)
Conclusion
Fitness and fitness coaching are classical examples of the overlap between mind and body, and achieving good fitness demonstrates the many benefits of that integration. The ultimate objective of fitness training is to create a positive spiral in which eating right and working out lead to better sleep and more energy which, in turn, lead to natural weight loss and other positive physical results. People are often surprised to find that they can be eating plenty of food and losing weight at the same time.
While fitness training requires a certain amount of motivation, learning and effort to begin, once a good routine is in place, it becomes a form of therapy and stress management in and of itself. Workouts are like a type of therapy and can become powerful ways of relieving stress and provide an effective strategy for taking preventative action. Fitness trainers can show clients how to use workouts to relieve stress. Then, instead of having a couple of drinks at the bar, clients can go to the gym for the same amount of time and work out the stress.
While there are basic guidelines for achieving good fitness, it is important for fitness trainers to remember that each person is unique and trainers must treat them as individuals. Fitness training and nutrition plans need to be adapted to the needs of each client, helping clients find their individual motivators and dealing with potential inner blocks and resistances. NLP is an important resource for fitness trainers in order to accomplish this.
NLP Tools such as establishing Well-Formed Outcomes, Creating a Compelling Future using Time Lines and Submodalities, Mental Rehearsal, Future Pacing, Changing Personal History and Reframing can be used to help clients achieve success in the “inner game” of fitness.
My e-book, “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” can assist you tremendously in moving into an area of mental fitness that will support you in physical fitness. If you’d like to experience Fitness Coaching request your Introductory Consultation.
OK…how are you doing with your action? Let me know in the comments below.
Bibliography of Reference Texts and Related Readings:
- Bandler R. and Grinder, J., Frogs into Princes, Real People Press, Moab, UT, 1979.
- Dilts, R., From Coach to Awakener, Meta Publications, Capitola, CA, 2003.
- Dilts, R., Changing Belief Systems with NLP, Meta Publications, Capitola, CA, 1990.
- Dilts, R. and DeLozier, J., The Encyclopedia of Systemic Neuro-Linguistic Programming and NLP New Coding, NLP University Press, Santa Cruz, CA, 2000.
- Dilts, R., Hallbom, T. and Smith, S., Beliefs: Pathways to Health and Well-Being, Metamorphous Press, Portland, OR, 1990.
- Dilts, R. and Hollander, J., NLP and Life Extension: Modeling Longevity, Dynamic Learning Publications, Ben Lomond, CA, 1992.
- Gallwey, T., The Inner Game of Tennis, Random House, New York, NY, 1974.
- Gallwey, T., The Inner Game of Work: Focus, Learning, Pleasure and Mobility in the Workplace, Random House Trade Paperbacks, New York, NY, 2000.
- O’Connor, J. and Seymour, J., Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Aquarian Press, Cornwall, England, 1990.
- Rodin, Judith, Aging and Health: Effects of the Sense of Control, Science Vol. 233, September 19, 1986, pp.1271–1276.
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