May 032011
 
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In our “Beyond Limits” class last night the topic was forgiveness.  Now I’ll be the first to admit that this topic is still forgivnessone I’m trying to understand at a deeper level.

You see, when I first heard about and even thought about forgiving someone I thought it was indicating that what ever action the person did was acceptable.  This is why I found it extremely difficult to forgive certain individuals.

Then as I continued on my path I discovered that this is NOT what forgiveness is.  As we were told in class last night, forgiveness is allowing the person safe passage through our mind.  Another definition we discussed is: “forgiveness is forever giving up the right to ever bring up again that which you forgave.”

Another interesting aspect of forgiveness is in relation to The Law of Attraction.  If, as we have been told and it has been proven, that we are all connected at some level.  And if everything is energy, then by us not forgiving we are in essence ‘holding back.’  And “as we so so shall we reap”, that is, by us holding back energy, then that aspect of us that is the Universe must hold back as well.  When we forgive, we release energy and this energy must circulate and come back to us.

Like I said…this is an ongoing practice for me to understand and practice forgiveness.

Every culture, spiritual practice and religion at its core has a concept of forgiveness…gee…do you think it’s important!?

In the support of forgiveness there are two concepts of power and peace.  Last night we contemplated power (I’ll call it personal power) the definition we were asked to consider is that “power is asking for what you want and accepting what you get.”

For peace we were asked to contemplate that “peace is giving up that ‘something is wrong here.”

An interesting contemplation is that by focusing on the past with unforgiveness, lack of personal power and lack of peace, can it be that we are possible creating or recreating the very things was want to get out of or get rid of?

OK…so those are some of the topics associate with forgiveness.

The question now is, how does one forgive?

There are numerous methods for forgiving or at least looking at a situation that might need forgiveness.  One is the Hawaiian form of forgiveness ho’oponopono.  I discussed this in a previous post “Time For Some Physical and Emotional Cleaning”.   Another great process is “The Sedona Method” cofounded by Hale Dwoskin.  And one more that has to deal with relationships is Byron Katie’s “The Work.”

Last night we were introduced to another method, and I don’t know if it actually has a name and for now I’ll call it “beyond forgives.”

Here’s the process:

Step 1: Write down the name of the person that you have the issue with (that requires forgiveness for you to move on).

Step 2: Write down your inauthentic way being when you are around them.  That is, if you are normally a fun, outgoing and carefree person, do you with withdraw?  The key here is to see how and what you change into when you are around this person.  What type of façade or mask do you put on?  So, your authentic self is NOT how you act when you are mad at someone, but how you are “normally”…this is your authentic self.  Then what happens when you are near this person…this is your inauthentic self

Step 3: Contemplate, what is the impact of this way of being to others in your life?  For example, if you’re having a good time talking with friends and the person you are mad at walks by, how does your metamorphosis…you’re inauthentic way of being, affect the others?  Do you change the subject from something happy to complaining about the person?  Do you withdraw from the conversation completely?  Do people notice the shift and not want to be around you?  For ever action there is a reaction.  When you shift your energy to an inauthentic way of being there are ramifications…what are they?

Step 4: Ask, “What can I give up?” Can you give up being distant? Can you give up the anger?  To help answer this question I strongly recommend looking into “The Sedona Method” and “The Work.”   Both of these processes provide excellent re-frame’s to allow you to release and let go.

In my 2 ½ Day Intensive, The 2nd Passage, I spend a significant amount of time on forgiveness and the results are amazing.

In order for personal growth, personal development and personal empowerment to occur for you, you MUST practice the art of forgiveness.   Forgiveness is essential in living a rich, full, happy and meaningful life…and this is what you want, isn’t it?

I hope this gave you something to think about and consider looking into how forgiveness can help you reclaim your personal power so that you can live a life filled with joy!

Oh yea…here’s a great re-mix of Dolly Parton – Peace Train (Junior Vasquez Extended Club Mix).  I guess it fits with forgiveness…I just really like it!

[hdplay id=10]

 

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below

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Apr 292011
 
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My earlier post, “The Nature of Reality and Your Personal Success” can perhaps best be summarized in the words of beliefsthe physicist Professor Amit Goswami in stating

“Matter, energy and consciousness are the same thing.”

Professor Goswami goes on further to say:

“Everything, including matter, exists in and is manipulated from consciousness. This does not mean that matter is unreal but that the reality of matter is secondary to that of consciousness, which itself is the ground of all being, including matter.”

To help further understand consciousness as the ground of all being, which includes what is thought of as personal consciousness, consider the following analogy.

Imagine consciousness, which is the ground of all being, as an ocean.

An ocean is made up of molecules of water, each of which has its own individuality but at the same time is an part of  body of water.

In the same way, personal consciousness has its own individuality but at the same time is an part of the ocean of consciousness.

To help define personal consciousness, a little further, consider the dream state.

When you are in the state of consciousness, called dreaming, you still keep your sense of identity.

In other words you still feel like you.

You even have a sense of body image, which you find as being you.

Therefore, you interact with anything that you do not consider as you, as if it is separate from and independent of you.

In the dream state of consciousness you make this differentiation between you, and not you, even though this cannot be the case because all images in your dream are part of your personal state of consciousness and must be part of you.

Understanding this last point is extremely important because you also from all images in your waking state of consciousness using the same beliefs about what is you, and not you.

This is, perhaps, a difficult concept to completely grasp at this stage, but it will become clearer as you progress through this information.

Ponder for a moment what was explored in an earlier post about the dream state of consciousness.

It was clearly shown that thought, is energy, and is extremely powerful and creative.

While in your dream state of consciousness you create a whole reality of seemingly separate objects and people and then interact with them.

The reality you create is so convincing that whilst you are focused in it you are unaware that it is being created by you.

It is so convincing that you can even create and experience emotions such as fear, anger or happiness.

To develop this concept of the creative power of thought requires a consideration of the term a belief.

The dictionary defines a belief as something you accept to be true.

However, just because you accept something to be true, it does not mean that it is actually true.

In other words, in the light of further information, you may need to revise your beliefs.

Here are some examples of beliefs that you may have changed in the light of further information:

Most people, as children, used to believe in Santa Claus, but stopped believing in him when they were told that he did not really exist.

Again, many people were taught, and probably still hold the belief today, that Christopher Columbus discovered America.

But, actually, what he discovered was the West Indies.

He was trying to find a western passage to India, which is what he thought he had found, and that is why those islands are called the West Indies even to this day.

The person who was credited by the cartographer Martin Waldseemuller with the discovery of America is Amerigo Vespucci.

Some sources suggest that it is from his name that the name America is derived.

In the light of this information some people may have just changed a belief that they have held for years.

Some beliefs, like the last one perhaps, are easier to change than others.

However, some beliefs about life are so ingrained that people think they are facts about life, and not just beliefs about life and this can inhibit their personal development.

This is a very important point to bear in mind.

It is very useful to make a list of your beliefs.

Regularly reviewing your list will show you how your beliefs are changing and which items on your list are facts and which ones are just beliefs. This process WILL help in your personal development.

If you are having a little trouble starting your list, then consider if you hold the following belief.

You may believe that:

  • As you get older it is inevitable that you become frailer and weaker.

Remember that a belief is something you accept to be true, but information gained later may show it not to be true after all.

Here is another question about beliefs you may hold.

Would you agree that:

  • People generally feel they are victims of circumstance; that life ‘happens’ to them, mostly outside of their control?

But, what if being a victim is based only on a set of beliefs?

You may find this quite a challenging statement.

However, remember what has been stated about a belief being something you accept to be true, but may not be.

You may believe that you live in a world of facts.

Therefore, it may be difficult to accept that your knowledge is largely a collection of beliefs about life and not a collection of facts about life.

Feeling that they are facts about life is what causes the most problems.

Once you realize you are dealing with beliefs, rather than unchangeable facts, then your intellect can accept that it is possible to change them, and personal development is all about change.

If you wish to change a particular circumstance in your life you first have to be very sure whether you are dealing with a fact about life, or just believe it is a fact about life.

Once you are sure of this, you also need to understand that there is a difference between a want and an expectation.

A want is best described as something you hope will happen, but have no certainty that it will.

An expectation, however, is having complete certainty that what you want to happen will happen.

Desire can be transformed into definite expectation, but desire on its own is not enough to bring about the required change in your personal experiences.

It is easy to confuse a desire, with an expectation, and therefore become disappointed when you do not seem to get the outcome you want.

The procedure for changing beliefs, and therefore your experiences, has to start from a fundamental understanding of the difference between a fact and a belief; and between a desire and a definite expectation.

The methods for changing beliefs may be different for each person and can vary from using such techniques as visualization to writing lists.

It is best to use whatever technique feels right for you and to remember that only a full expectation of the required change will make it happen.

With this understanding you can start to accept new beneficial beliefs in place of old limiting beliefs.

You can then conduct your daily life in the secure knowledge that your experiences will fall in line with your new beliefs about what is possible.

Consider again the belief in being a victim.

Feeling like a victim of some sort can take many forms and is usually built on a collection of personal beliefs, but there are a couple of fundamental beliefs that will always be present.

They are the beliefs that it is possible to be a victim in the first place, and that there is a world that is solid, separate and external to you and therefore outside of your control.

As you become more confident in the knowledge that you only experience what you believe is possible, then you will experience fewer instances where you cast yourself in the role of victim.

You should be gentle with yourself as you build your confidence in consciously instigating the experiences you want.

You may wish to start by changing what you consider to be some small aspect of your personal experiences.

As you see the required changes come about, it will give you the confidence to tackle what you consider to be more difficult challenges.

When goal setting, it is important not to limit yourself by insisting on too much detail as to how and when you will create that experience for yourself.

To help with this, it is advisable to focus on the personal goals and not the obstacles, and keep in mind the difference between a desire and an expectation.

A core belief of expect the best, will ensure that whatever happens, it will be the best, even if intellect cannot see a logical way forward.

To further understand the power of belief, consider the use of placebo pills and placebo surgery by the medical profession.

A placebo pill is just a sugar pill with no real medication properties.

It is administered to the patient as if it is a specific drug with precise medical value which is expected by the patient to have the desired effect.

The patient believes in the doctor and believes in the treatment.

The effectiveness of these sugar pills is quite remarkable.

They have been used to treat all kinds of illness, including cancer.

Even more astounding is the result of a major trial here in the US on the placebo effect of surgery for arthritis of the knee.

A team of surgeons in Texas tested the procedure by performing the surgery on 180 patients with osteoarthritis in the knee.

Two-thirds had two different types of the surgery.

But for the remaining third of the patients, the surgeons went through the motions by giving a tranquilizer, making three incisions and pretending to do the surgery.

All participants in the study had to sign their chart to show that they understood they might receive the placebo surgery, which would not help their arthritic knee.

Most arthroscopic surgery on the knee is done to repair injured ligaments and cartilage, which doctors say is useful.

The experiment was designed to see whether the surgery helped reduce pain and increase mobility in patients with an arthritic knee.

The researchers found patients who underwent the placebo surgery were just as likely to report pain relief as those who received the real procedure.

It seems that for osteoarthritis patients, the relief is all in their heads.

Dr. Bruce Moseley, an orthopedics professor at Baylor College in Houston and one of the study’s co-authors, said

“I don’t believe that arthroscopic surgery for osteoarthritis of the knee is any more beneficial than a placebo effect, and I don’t recommend it.”

Further evidence was shown on a television program in the UK made for the BBC’s Open University.

The researchers found that the effectiveness of all medicine, orthodox and alternative, is certainly partly due to the ‘placebo effect’, meaning that if you believe something will do you good then it most probably will.

The program continued by saying that the placebo effect could demonstrate the power of a person’s mind and body to heal itself, thus further illustrating how the importance of expecting a positive outcome plays an important role in the effectiveness of both alternative and orthodox medicine.

To expand the placebo effect to the area of diets, consider the statement that if diets really worked, there would only need to be one diet and it would work for everyone.

As stated by Prof. Fletcher, Dr. Pine and Dr. Penman

“Diets are so ineffective in controlling weight that around 95% of people who go on one end up just as fat a year later (and sometimes fatter too).”

In a 20 year study of behavioral flexibility in British Universities and for the UK’s Medical Research Council, Professor Ben Fletcher, Dr Karen Pine and Dr Danny Penman discovered that the more flexible your behavior, the more weight you will lose.

What is really amazing about this study is that weight loss or gain had nothing to do with food consumption.

This is a powerful example demonstrating that ‘what goes on in your mind determines your physical experiences‘.

As further examples of how your health is affected by ‘what you think’, consider the following medical research findings.

Steven Greer and his colleagues of Kings College Hospital medical school in London conducted a study on breast cancer.

They found that patients with ‘fighting spirit’ or ‘denial’ were more likely to be alive and relapse-free five years after diagnosis than patients who resigned themselves to the disease.

Further to this, in a study by Brenda Penninx and her colleagues on the relationship between depression and cancer, it was found that chronically depressed non-smokers were more likely to develop cancer than smokers.

In addition, a great deal of study has been carried out on how ‘natural killer cells’ in the body’s immune system are affected by stressful periods in a person’s life.

It was clearly demonstrated that the effectiveness of the ‘natural killer cells’ was reduced during periods of high stress.

These findings are supported by an experiment conducted on a group of dental students.

Small holes were made in the roof of the mouths of a group of students, once during a holiday period and once just before their exams.

The wounds took on average 40% longer to heal around exam time than they did in the more relaxed holiday period.

Not only do your beliefs affect your health, they also affect how long you live.

Daniel E Moerman, PhD and Wayne B Jonas MD were able to show that non-white Chinese Americans die much earlier than would normally be expected if, according to Chinese traditions, it was indicated that they had an ill fated combination of birth date and disease.

They demonstrated that the more a person believed in the traditional Chinese culture, the more pronounced the effect.

The differences in life span, up to 6% or 7%, were not due to having Chinese genes but to having Chinese beliefs.

This powerful example shows the dire consequences of erroneous and often hidden thought patterns.

The placebo effect shows that there is more to human health and wellbeing than is currently explained by either orthodox or alternative medicine.

The conclusion that can be drawn from these examples is that the patients, powerful beliefs were the only factor at play in bringing about very real medical changes.

There are many such examples in medical journals from around the World.

The power of belief is so well-recognized by the medical profession that the prescription of placebos continues on a daily basis by many doctors.

The use of placebos is a very practical example of the power of your beliefs.

Understanding the power of your beliefs is crucial to understanding how you instigate your personal experiences.

Your everyday reality is a state of consciousness in which all your experiences are based on your beliefs about what is possible and what is not possible.

This concept will continue to become clearer throughout future posts and provide you with the ability to gain more creative control over every aspect of your life and assist in your personal development.

I’d like finish with some reflective questions:

  • How do you think a though is transmitted between people during telepathy and why does distance seem to have no effect on it?
  • How does the creative power of thought work?
  • How would you define what a belief is?
  • How would you define the difference between a belief and a fact?
  • How do placebo pills and placebo surgery work?

OK…your thoughts?  Please share in the comments below.

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Apr 272011
 
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This is the final post in a continuation for personal development and personal success. I’d like to talk about my beliefsfavorite subject…beliefs!

In the Unconsciousness Beliefs and Personal Success – Part I, I discussed ‘beliefs 101’.  In Unconsciousness Beliefs and Personal Success – Part II I talked about were beliefs come from…now I’d like to continue with…

Unconsciousness Beliefs in Life

Self awareness is the key to personal growth and personal development. By being self aware we can understand more about ourselves and this will support us in determining our vision in life and areas that we wish to grow in. This can be the very first step to knowing more about your beliefs and unconsciousness beliefs – just through awareness.

Awareness is the first stage of change. It is the first stage of bringing something from our subconsciousness into our consciousness. Through seeing something consciously we can determine more about it. We can start to ask ourselves questions about our behaviors. We can start to unlock truths about our beliefs. We can determine what beliefs we are committed to.

The best place to look for an unconsciousness belief is within the situation in which you are confronted. In other words, by looking at the outcomes or the results we have in our life, which we don‘t want. Going back to our original premise, which is: whatever a person truly believes in they will create and experience. We can use these unwanted results to define what the unconsciousness beliefs are in life. The connection is simple and direct.

For example, if a person says they want to save money and they have been trying unsuccessfully for a substantial period of time, then there is something they believe in which causes something else to show up in their life. A person with this kind of challenge may have an unconsciousness belief called, “I don‘t deserve to be wealthy” or “I don‘t value money” or “there‘s not enough resources to go around. Any one of these unconsciousness beliefs could support the behaviors that result in the person not saving money. It does not take too much imagination to think of childhood events that may have resulted in someone developing this kind of unconsciousness belief.

In order to create a greater level of self-awareness around our thoughts and beliefs, it is important to also develop awareness around our emotions. When exploring unconsciousness beliefs, we may find it difficult to monitor and identify our specific thoughts and beliefs. When looking to identify an unconsciousness belief that eludes us, it can be useful to first look at the emotions that our thoughts cause us to feel. Do your thoughts create emotions that are empowering – feelings of joy, excitement, love and gratitude?

Or do your thoughts create emotions that are disempowering – feelings of fear, frustration, sadness or anger for example? Your feelings are a barometer of your thoughts and beliefs. When your thoughts and beliefs serve and support you in achieving your goals – they will leave you feeling good and empowered. When there are unconsciousness beliefs at work that may sabotage your stated goals, you will find yourself feeling bad, frustrated or disempowered.

What To Do Once The Unconsciousness Belief Is Detected

Once the unconsciousness belief is detected, you have the power to decide how you will use this new awareness. One of the traps in distinguishing any unconsciousness belief is to make a judgment about the unconsciousness belief by thinking that it is “bad or wrong” and reflecting that judgment back onto ourselves and who we are. Making an unconsciousness belief “bad or wrong” or making ourselves “bad or wrong” for holding a belief is disempowering and will only leave you feeling stuck.

The power of identifying an unconsciousness belief comes in facing and owning it – that is, by allowing it to simply be, or detect it and not judge it. Identifying an unconsciousness belief in this way allows you to see other opportunities that apparently seem not to have been there before. Taking action inside these new opportunities, recognizing that you have the power to choose a new belief and new actions, is what will really make the difference.

Basically beliefs (both consciousness and unconsciousness) are neither “good nor bad”, they are simply supportive or not supportive, depending on your personal goals.  If the belief is unsupportive, then there are various techniques within NLP, Timeline Empowerment™ and hypnosis, as well as a host of other disciplines, that can assist in releasing the limiting belief.  But the key first step is to identify the unconsciousness belief so that you can examine and work with it.

Contemplation

  • Why bother to discover your unconsciousness beliefs?
  • What are some unwanted behaviors you currently have in your life?
  • Using this process, can you now see what might be behind these outcomes?
  • With this new insight, what would be an empowering action to take?
  • Why is knowledge of an unconsciousness belief helpful in making constructive choices?

Application

Unconsciousness beliefs are unique to an individual. The exact wording that will empower someone in distinguishing their unconsciousness belief will be their own. Although there are common areas where unconsciousness beliefs tend to show up, such as in money and time issues, the exact wording to each person‘s unconsciousness beliefs is unique as the individual themselves.

My role as a coach is to empower my clients to discover and name their own unconsciousness beliefs.

The purpose of perceiving and detecting unconsciousness beliefs is to simply gain awareness so one can clarify what is behind the patterns of behavior that disempower or empower us. By using unconsciousness beliefs to define these patterns clearly, we can then have a fresh perspective in order to take action outside of these old patterns of behavior. Therefore, we can create new opportunities where there were none before. It is like shining a light on something that has been lurking in the dark for some time so as to be able to deal with it effectively. It is very hard to address something when it is not visible and clear. However, by detecting an unconsciousness belief, and facing it head on, it then becomes possible for us to change behavior.

The following question may help you to obtain an understanding of your own unconsciousness beliefs: “What belief, opinion, or judgment could you be reinforcing by constantly creating this outcome?”

Here the outcome could what you want or it may not be.  This is a starting point for identify an unconsciousness belief.  Remember, just because a belief is unconsciousness doesn’t mean it’s bad or unsupportive.  There are many supportive unconsciousness beliefs.  The object of asking the above question is to get familiar with your feelings and responses so that you can make a decision about the belief.

When a person discovers an unconsciousness belief they are able to make decisions from a more powerful position because they have a greater amount of knowledge. They have the power of choice. Take the example above of a person with a stated commitment to save money, who never manages to, because of an unconsciousness belief that says “there is not enough resources to go around. By identifying this unconsciousness belief, the client has more knowledge from which to make choices.

They may decide that a better way to balance their unconsciousness belief with their stated commitment is to make a donation to charity of one dollar out of every twenty that they save. They may decide to take on some volunteer work as a more constructive response to their unconsciousness belief than simply wasting money. By understanding their unconsciousness belief, the individual has agency to actively choose the behaviors that will allow them to respond to their commitments in a constructive way.

How To Best Use The Unconsciousness Belief Model

The first step to empower yourself with this model, is to use the process to gain access to and freedom from your own unconsciousness beliefs. By doing so, you will have the practical experience and be able to help others.

Your willingness to confront your unconsciousness beliefs and create new opportunities for your life will inspire those around you, i.e. family, friends, and coworkers as well as current and future customers (if you own a business) because they will be drawn to what you are creating in your life.

Additionally, by engaging in this process honestly yourself, you will have the compassion to assist others, if this is your calling. This compassion will help you when you are dealing with close friends and family who struggle to meet their stated goals.

“People are complex and multifaceted. Therefore, behavioral approaches that reduce complex human behavior to mechanistic stimulus and response chains will not succeed” – Peterson, 2006.

By understanding the complexity of human behaviors and its drivers, you will have more patience with yourself and be able to create a space to explore why you have issues and problems in your lives that you don‘t consciously choose. You will also have the wisdom to approach a behavior issue from a range of different angles, rather than seeing it as something that you can simply choose to quickly change. By creating this space, and respecting the complexity of your journey, you will allow yourself to make real breakthroughs and achieve sustainable change.

When my client’s are moving through the exploration of their beliefs they hold on to, whether they are working for them or not, they may feel very scared. Removing or changing a belief can place a person into great uncertainty. This is where my role of their coach is critical. At this moment in time I often remind the client of their vision and where they want to go and encourage them into seeing it.

As their coach, I can notice and identify any changes I observe in a client’s conversation, i.e. the words they use, the energy behind the words, state, posture etc.  Then, in the middle of a coaching conversation if I identify a belief, I might ask if they can share a feeling that just came up when they were speaking about that specific topic.  I’ll then share the belief I observed and the behavior they spoke about that reinforced this belief. I’ll then ask them if this belief feels aligned with them or not.

It’s my main job to support my clients in identifying their vision, purpose and mission in life (The 2nd Passage) as well as assisting them reach their personal goals and achieve personal success. Part of this process is to ask them to describe the behaviors they would need to exhibit to achieve this vision…who will they have to become to reach their personal goals.

I ask them and I suggest that you too write down as many qualities, characteristics, beliefs, etc. as you can.

How would you walk, stand, do certain elements of each task needed to achieve your vision? Then refer to this list of behaviors as you work to achieve your vision. One of our greatest fears is success, actually being all that we can be. As a coach I observe my client’s successes, acknowledge them all and ‘enthuses’ them to keep utilizing and experiencing those supportive behaviors as often as possible. There are many activities I recommend to stay focused on you vision, i.e. visualization, meditate, write, ignore inner self talk, great supports etc.

Once you have identified what you want and who you have to become to achieve your personal goals comes the process of shifting and sorting through your beliefs. Keep the one’s that will support you on your journey and let the others float away like a bunch of helium balloons.

Final Reflection

  • What is the role of unconsciousness beliefs in your career?
  • What role do your unconsciousness beliefs play in your relationships?
  • What are some questions you could ask yourself when you are feeling unable to visualize your personal success?

References

Peterson, David, 2006 ?People are Complex and the World is Messy: A Behaviour based Approach to Executive Coaching?, in Stober, Diane and Grant, Anthony, (eds) Evidence Based Coaching: A Handbook, Wiley and Sons, New York

Well that’s; it!  I hope you found this series on unconsciousness beliefs helpful.  Admittedly, beliefs is a topic that can be discussed and investigated over a lifetime, and there are many individuals that have made this study their livelihood.  So, I know that this series is only scratching the surface of beliefs,  but I hope it gave you something to think about.

If you’d like to explore your beliefs further, especially your unconsciousness beliefs request an Introductory Consultation today.

Oh yea…the e-book “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” (also available in a Kindle version) goes over beliefs in more detail as well.

I’d like to thank ICA again for their support and inspiration for this topic.

OK…what do you think?  Please let me know in the comments below.

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Apr 202011
 
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This is a continuation in series for personal development and personal success. I’d like to talk about my favoriteUnconsciousness Beliefs subject…beliefs!

In the Unconsciousness Beliefs and Personal Success – Part I, I discussed ‘beliefs 101’ and now I’d like to continue with…

Where Do Unconsciousness Beliefs Come From?

Our beliefs are entrenched within us just like skin on our body. It is part of us. When we developed these beliefs we attached behaviors to them. The formulation of those beliefs may have occurred a long time ago. However the behaviors are present in our everyday life. Recognizing the history of these beliefs is often possible with the help of NLP, Time Empowerment® and hypnosis. With strict “coaching” it is often difficult to discover the root cause of a belief.  However, before a belief begins the idea must be first accepted, I call this a ‘limiting decision.’  At some point a person makes a decision to accept a belief, and this is where the mental strength tools of Time Empowerment©, NLP and hypnosis come in handy.

Moving forward can be achieved by recognizing the belief that underpins a behavior and deciding whether this belief is something you still want to hold on to. You can stop the behavior by stopping the belief. You can do more of a particular behavior if you have a stronger belief attached to it. Although this does take considerable mental strength, it can be effective.  With the help of a coach and/or NLP, Time Empowerment©, NLP or hypnosis this process can be significantly expedited.

An example of working on a limiting belief independently might be recognizing that the behavior of using negative language does not support the belief of being positive. You decide to observe your language closely and remove language that is negative and not aligned with your belief. If you wanted to understand the reason why you talk in a negative way you may decide to explore when you started to do this and what it is that you believe in. Depending on your environment at the time you will have interpreted or thought about the belief in a particular context. Your feelings would have impacted on your interpretation of the belief and then your behavior would have been formed as a result of this process.

Unconsciousness Beliefs most likely come from our past experiences, as Kant suggests in his theory. There is a belief amongst many theorists that those experiences that occur when we are very young make the most lasting impression and lead to beliefs that are hard to shake. The truth of the origin of Unconsciousness Beliefs has been and most probably will continue to be talked about throughout time by philosophers, therapists and other practitioners.

Our beliefs inform our behaviors. They were learned at some stage in our life. We have practiced them so much now that they are automated. We commit to these behaviors everyday as they are part of us.

We may be able to move forward by simply discerning what the Unconsciousness Belief is, without having to uncover its origin. Sometimes all that is needed is to just get clear on what the Unconsciousness Belief is which may be enough to empower us and free us from old patterns of behavior.

Other times we may feel the need to explore the source of an Unconsciousness Belief that has been dominating our life. By identifying both the Unconsciousness Belief and its source, we may then find release from it and be able to move forward. However, be aware, it is not always possible to easily determine the source of an Unconsciousness Belief. Human behavior is complex. It flows from a combination of cognitive, emotional, and spiritual elements. It may never be possible to discern the exact origin of an Unconsciousness Belief.

It‘s important to remember that many Unconsciousness Beliefs support positive behavior. It can be empowering to remember the relationship between a positive outcome in our life and our belief in making this happen. By seeing the connection between our beliefs, goals and outcomes in a positive light, we can take this learning into other aspects of our life to more clearly see the relationship between our behavior and our beliefs.

Some Unconsciousness Beliefs also support a combination of positive and negative behaviors. For example, if you have an Unconsciousness Belief to being a devoted life partner this will have positive effects on your relationship; however, taken to the extreme, there could be situations or circumstances where this Unconsciousness Belief could have negative effects such as stifling the other person or being inattentive to your self. Simply being aware of an Unconsciousness Belief can help you to make choices as different circumstances arise. Observe the ease in which you achieve goals when your beliefs are aligned with your goals and where you want to go in life.

Fear of Letting Go

Have you ever spoken to a person who openly admits that there is an element of their life that doesn‘t really work for them, but they don‘t know how to change it or are too afraid to do this? What then is the fundamental difference between a person who decides to let go of a belief that doesn‘t support them and someone who holds on to it and never lets it go? What you will observe over time is that the person who lets go of a belief that doesn‘t support them seems to be going places in life. They are excited about life and invigorated by it. They seem driven and focused. The person who didn‘t let go of the belief will still be talking about this same belief years to come and not only that but over time they may grow resentful of their “luck” in life and how other people seem to have an easy life.

The moment in time when you choose to keep a belief that doesn‘t work for you is the moment in time where you fundamentally deceive yourself and decide to deny yourself the right to a great life. You decide that the best is not for you, it is too hard to attain or you may even go to that place of convincing yourself that a great life is not really possible. This internal conversation you are having is built around a belief, a belief about your self worth. You can choose to keep it or over ride it.

Let’s play out the life that keeps this belief. Every year you reinforce in every decision you make that you are not worthy. Life becomes more difficult and over time your self esteem starts to plummet. Seeing a new way of doing things becomes so far away and impossible and so over time you give up.

Let’s now go to the person who throws away the belief that they are not worthy and instead works on building their sense of self worth. They begin to achieve, they feel stronger, they are happier, they are smiling all the time and find that people are attracted to them. They appear to always have good fortune or a great life. They chose this pathway. They look for the positivity in each moment, they look for internal peace. This way of seeing life, having hope and belief, has been the way extraordinary people have survived even in the most difficult situations. In the movie “Life is Beautiful” a man decides to believe in hope and to try to see the beauty around him even in a concentration camp during the World War II. Whatever was going to happen to him, he had inner peace and knew this. No one could take this from him. This belief has sustained people in the most challenging moments in their life.

So we know that having beliefs that support us are critical to our well being. Yet we intellectualize living without these beliefs and we go into a space of uncertainty. Uncertainty creates fear and fear prevents us from moving forward or changing things. Checking in with yourself emotionally means you can ascertain if you really must change your belief. Your intellect will rationalize all the reasons for keeping it but emotionally you will feel what is best for you. Ignoring your emotions and how you feel about your beliefs is accepting that you are not worthy.

Well I’m going to leave it at this for now. I think this is enough information, if you take it to heart and contemplate the above information, you’ll begin to discover, or at least…get a hint of some of your unsupportive Unconsciousness Beliefs that have been holding you back from reaching your personal goals and personal success.

If you don’t want to wait for the next post on unconsciousness beliefs and start a personal exploration on your own unconsciousness beliefs request an Introductory Consultation today.

Oh yea…the e-book “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” (also available in a Kindle version) goes over beliefs in more detail as well.

I’d like to thank ICA again for their support and inspiration for this topic.

OK…what do you think so far?  Please let me know in the comments below.

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Apr 192011
 
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Over the past few weeks on Tuesday, I’ve been highlighting a topic or topics from a class I’m taking (Beyond Limits).  This is a 10 week class that investigates how we ‘think our reality into existence.’

The information we’re studying has been around for thousands of years, and more recently has been named “New Thought.”  If you’ve ever heard of Michael Beckwith, John Randolph Price or Ernest Holmes, these are all “New Thought” leaders.  The move “The Secret” in large part is centered on “New Thought”, but it only scratches the surface of assisting you with your own personal empowerment.

One area we discussed last night was a section in the book “Repacking Your Bags: Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your Life.”

SIDE BAR – I developed a saying about 20 years ago after I started dating again after a divorce and this was “Everyone has baggage; just make sure the contents are cleaned and folded nice.”  It appears that this message went out to the Universe and was picked up by Richard J. Leider and David A. Shapiro (the authors of the book)

Anyway, back to class…we talked about the first five areas for “Repacking Reflections”.  These are my interpretations:

1 – Rediscover your Hidden Talents:

Life is all about creating. If you take a look at Nature, creation is going on constantly.  Nothing in this world would exist without mans ability to create.  Talents are the creative core of you life. I look at talent as those things you are naturally good at and skills are something you have learned.   So, let me ask you, what exactly are you creating through your talents?   Have you become so focused on our skills that your talents have been neglected?

I see talents as a doorway to our Soul, when are deeply involved in using our talents we are connected with our Higher-Self, and we are connected with our Higher-Self amazing things happen!  When was the last time you really exercised your talent muscle?  If you have forgotten what your talent(s) are, ask a close friend, they see your talents all the time.  If you feel uncomfortable about asking a friend or family member, find a coach and with work with them.  The key here is rediscover that part of you that makes you com alive and start to express that on a regular basis.

Are you expressing your talents fully? If not, how can you?

2 – Reclaim You Purpose:

Talents develop best when coupled with your purpose, or at least a worthwhile cause.  In The 2nd Passage we discover a person Purpose, and then help create a Vision and develop a Mission around it.

I look at your Purpose as  why you are here, your Vision as how your going to express your Purpose and your Mission is how you are going life “into” your Vision…that is, who are going to be to make your Vision a reality. When all of those three are aligned and you add in your talents…well then you’ll be living a life of Power, Purpose and Passion!

If you haven’t discovered your purpose yet, that’s OK…it will always be there ready for you to find it.  And until then, you still can utilize your talents. When you use your talent in support of something you truly believe in, you will feel more energetic, more committed, and more enthusiastic about everything you do.

Have you discovered or reclaimed your purpose?  If not, what can you do to find it?

3 – Reinvent Your Job:

You may have loved your job at one time, or perhaps you still do.  But when things are repeated over and over again become mundane, boring and mechanical.  What once was brought you satisfaction now leads to and brings dissatisfaction.  Everything we enjoy and love will become stale if we don’t renew them regularly.

Even if your current career isn’t your aligned with your purpose, mission or even leveraging your talents, you still can bring back the spark that once lead you to what you’re doing.  If what you’re doing is just to “pay the bills”, you still can reinvent your job…and I would say it might be a “must” if you desire to attract more income.

Remember, “How you do anything is a tendency on how you do everything.”   If you can’t reinvent your job, what else in your life can’t you reinvent or rekindle…like your relationship?

So, are you regularly reinventing your job, or just complaining about the way things are?  Are you on the look out for solutions to problems or issues you can be passionate about?  How can you reinvent your job (and your life) so you get up every morning excited about the possibilities that are ahead?

4 – Reassign Your Higher Council

(In the book it is labeled “Reelect Your Personal Board of Directors)

Most of us can trace our success to significant support from other people.  These people could have been friends, family, real or even fictitious. We may not be aware, but at many critical times or decision we hear a voice in our head providing guidance.  Unfortunately we have another voice trying to stop us.

What you want to do here is to “reassign” who is going sit on your High Council…the ones that will provide support and encouragement and let the others go that do not provide what you are looking for.

So, take a look at your Purpose, Vision or Mission…if you don’t have that, then think of something big you want to accomplish. The think of the important relationships that have sustained you along the way and the new ones you want to create.   Who are the people in your life that you’ve relied on for counsel an advice and how else can you add that will help you achieve your personal goal and reach your personal success?

Here’s the great thing….you never have to ask them!  You create a virtual Higher Council in your imagination.  You can also think of them as your own personal board of directors.  Picture yourself at the meeting with your Council, perhaps you are all sitting around a round table.

Who is there?  Where is everyone sitting – including you?  Then, as you sit there, right now, what issues would you like to bring before the Council?  You know them all (at some level) and you know what they would say to you it they were really physically there with you. What kind of support are you looking for?

5 – Resharpen Your Growth Edge:

I’m a big believer and supporter of personal growth and personal empowerment. If you’re not learning at the same rate, or better, than the pace of change in today’s environment…you’ll be left behind.  This applies to personal and professional growth equally.

There have been hundreds of advances in personal develop via the brain, exercise, nutrition and NLP…to name a few.  Equally there have been leaps made in how business is being conducted.

Just like a successful company invests in its R&D department you too need to research new opportunities and develop new skills.  You are a good learner…you’ve made this far on everything you’ve learned…keep it up.  Learning brings a sense of aliveness.

What are you excited about learning.  How can you continually sharpen your growth edge?

When you look at “repacking” or any of the other “re’s” above you are at the center of them all!  This repacking and resifting provides a great opportunity for personal empowerment and personal development.

If you haven’t found your purpose, vision or mission yet, or you feel like you’re just going through the motions, take a look at The 2nd Passage.  These 2 ½ days will absolutely turn your life around!

OK…please let me know your thoughts on the subject of “repacking” in the comments below.

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Apr 062011
 
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Well here we are…the final installment of “Creating Action for Personal Success.”personal success

Action is paramount to success! An individual can set personal goals, develop affirmations and visualize ever day, but unless they take some from of action, little to nothing is going to happen.

Over the past 5 installments we’ve discussed a myriad of topics related to action and personal success.  Today I’m going to finish up with…

Gathering Resources to Support Your Action

Setting up structures (or rituals) to support the actions that your need to be take will be an important step in the process of achieving your personal goals. To be successful in this ‘creative process’, you will benefit greatly by preparing ahead of time, before setting out on your journey for personal success.

In simple thing to do is create a list of what you will need to do, both internally and externally, to prepare for your journey. This may include aspects such as creating time every day for meditation, writing a journal or exercising. It may also include getting their finances in order, or creating a strong support system.  Think of this as a pre-flight check list.

Goal-Setting

Often people think that goal setting is the end of the action process. On the contrary, it is only the beginning. Once your personal goals are established, you will need to create an action plan in order to reach the desired goal. One goal may have many sub-goals that need to be accomplished before achieving the final desired result. Creating an action plan supports the client to develop a strong structure with which to work.  You can look at the goal as the objective and then break it down to strategies and tactics. Strategies are ‘what’ you are going to and tactics are ‘how’ you are going to do it.

Prevent Slipping into Old Patterns

As you proceed into the path of creating their desired goals, temptation might slip in and yes…you may take a few steps backwards before moving forwards. If this happens, understand that this is normal. There are many reasons why people fear success and unconsciously sabotage their own development. This is normal human behavior.  What is not normal is being aware of it.

As a coach, this situation provides me with the opportunity to acknowledge my client’s for the work they have done so far. It also provides me with the opportunity to encourage them to keep moving forward despite the difficulty….this is how mental strength is developed.

A common pattern of development is for many individuals is to quickly achieve their initial goals and to then have a set back. This is often because the first goals they achieve are more obvious and therefore more achievable.

As you develop, you’ll then move on to tackle more significant goals. These goals may be blocked by more entrenched behaviors. At this point you’ll needs a lot of encouragement, motivation and enthusing to maintain your progress…even if this progress is slow. It is important for you to acknowledge your efforts/action in maintaining a forward focus, even if you are not seeing a lot of progress.

Creating an Action Plan

Once you have worked through this process and has established the personal goals that enthuse and excite you – goals that you feel passionate about – it is time to create an action plan. This plan will create a structure and ritual for you to work with. By creating an action plan, you’ll have a road map to follow, as well as a process to track successes and challenges. This action plan is a powerful tool for achieving any personal goal since it allows you to actually track your progress and visually see the benefit of the process.

If you’re familiar with my SMARTER goal process, the action plan serves as the “ER.”

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are powerful statements for the mind. They can be useful for moving someone into action. They have a tendency to create what one really wants. The process of writing down affirmations is liberating, easy and usually effective. This process requires you to simply say a positive phrase repeatedly. This can be done in front of a mirror, by writing them down, or by simply saying the affirmation out loud or silently anywhere, or having a recording of them and listen to them as you meditate.

Affirmations are also a good tool to use when negative self-talk creeps in. Whenever you catch yourself saying something negative, like, “I can‘t do this, or “I am stupid”, change the negative self-talk into a positive message by using a positive affirmation.

Unfortunately, in our world we are inundated with negative messages. Whenever you turn on a television you encounter unrealistic images about what people should look like, how many material things they should have and what their relationships should be like.

If you don‘t meet these ideals the message is clear: you are not attractive enough, you don‘t have enough material things and your relationships are inadequate. It‘s important to have strategies to counter this avalanche of negativity. Positive affirmations are useful to remind you of the reality of who you are and your life and to brush away doubts.

Come up with several affirmations that will support you in moving forward. Also, write them down and place the affirmation(s) where you can see them. A fridge door or bathroom mirror work well, I happen to like them on my desk and as a screen saver. You will also find it helpful to write down their affirmations every day. This is an excellent way to create focus in the right direction.

I create customized affirmation audios using a special brainwave synchronization process that bring brings the brainwaves into the very receptive Alpha state.   If you like have a customized affirmation audio, please Contact Me.

Focusing on Solutions

When creating action, it is more useful to focus on the solution rather than on the problem. That doesn‘t mean the problem is to be ignored. It just doesn‘t become the focus of the process itself. What is more important than the problem is to discover what will solve it.  Once you figure out what works, then the solution is to do more of that. If we discover what does not work, than figure out what needs to change and do that instead.

Coaching is about help my clients take action and moving forward. As long as they focus on the solution, they will continue to move forward.

The key to moving forward and staying focused on solutions is to understand that once you know what works, do more of it. When you discover something that doesn‘t work, do something different. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get different results is fruitless.

Build on Past Successes

One of the most powerful tools to use in achieving your personal goals is to build on past successes. Reminding yourself of past successes can provide a shift in perspective. It also allows you to recall moments when you were successful. By anchoring on to this past experience, you can tap into the success and use it to keep yourself focused.

A tool for tapping into past successes is to create a Success Time Line. To create a Success Time Line draw a line on a piece of paper. At the left side of your Time Line write the date when they were born. Starting from the left side and working toward the right, write the date and a short statement of every success you have had since then. For example, winning a spelling bee contest, graduating from school, or getting your first job. These are all examples of when you completed something successfully.

Once you have completed your Success Time Line write down what strengths you used to achieve this success. This will help develop your inventory of strengths. It will also provide a real life example of when you used those strengths. Whenever you become discouraged you can review your Success Time Line and tap into the power of that moment to gain encouragement.

Create a List of Encouraging Role Models

I encourage you to discover who your role models are and why. This will help you decide how you want your life to be and what it will take to create it…the life you really desire.

Role models can be very powerful in providing courage and inspiration to follow through with those things that you might not otherwise think are possible. Role models let you know what is possible for you. If they can do it, so can you!

If you don’t have any role models you admire, then I challenge you to find them. Go to the library or the internet to do some research. Find biographies or autobiographies of five people that have qualities that you admire. Once you have your list, write a short description of the role model‘s life. Then write down the qualities you admire in the role models and which qualities you wish to emulate. These role models can be from someone who is alive, deceased, someone they know, or someone famous and notable, and even fictitious…to a point.

Enlist the Help of a Support Team

As you begin to take action, you will need the help of a support team. This team will consist of people you can depend on to keep you moving forward.  This has also been referred to as a ‘Mastermind Group.’ As your virtual – and I hope someday “live – coach, I am automatically on their support team. However, this is not enough. You only spend a short amount of virtual time with me each week. Therefore, in order to have personal success in your process, you must surround yourself with people that are going to be helpful and encouraging.

In addition to spending more time with people that are positive and supportive, you will also want to manage your relationships with negative and non- supporting people. This may mean either decreasing the time you spend with them or, if this is not possible, putting boundaries in place about when, how and for how long you’ll interact with them.

This most likely will be a difficult step for you to take…and I’m here to assist you. Nevertheless, it will become easier as you begin to realize the positive changes that begin to take place in your life along with the action steps you take.

Creating action is about setting up a good solid structure and ritual for the purpose of moving forward.

As a coach, I can help you achieve what you desire by setting goals, creating action and developing your mental strength.  This in turn will lead you to achieving your personal goals and personal success.

Contemplation

Think back on your experiences:

  • How have you felt when others have encouraged you to take action when you doubted your strength, or ability in a specific area?
  • What are your top 10 strengths?
  • How do these support you in your development of your coaching practice?

Think of one goal that you will have for the next month. This may be a self-contained goal, or it could be part of something much bigger – like setting up your business!

  • What structures do you need to put in place to enable you to achieve your goal?
  • Make a list of five people that you most admire and describe why you like them.
  • What are the attributes that you want to make your own?
  • Who is on your support team?
  • Is it big enough?
  • Are there others you need to engage with more to support you in achieving your goals?

References

Roberts, L. M., Sprezter, G., Dutton, J., Quinn, R., Heaphy, E. and Barker, B. (2005). How to Play to Your Strengths. In Harvard Business Review on Managing Yourself (pp. 63-78). Boston, MA: Harvard Business School Press.

OK…that’s it…I hope you enjoyed and found a lot of value out of these session on creating action.

I’d really like to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Find out more about taking courageous action and achieving personal goals and personal success by picking up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your future and develop the mental strength and mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

Great way to “kick start” your inspired action…take a look at The 2nd Passage….this is a truly life transforming event!

I’d also like to thank ICA again for their inspiration and assistance on this topic.

I’ll be continuing this topic next week….Oh yea…did you get a chance to check out the new section on my blog “Warrior Mind Programming”?  This is where I have some great audio programs designed to bring your brainwaves into a Alpha, Theta, or Delta state and create synchronization between the two hemispheres.

If this sounds Greek to you, no worries…I have complimentary direct download e-book on the page that explains everything! Once you have experienced this process you’ll understand, feel and see the affects.

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Apr 022011
 
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This podcast is based on Mental Strength Tip #3Warrior Mind Podcast

Objective of this Warrior Mind Podcast

To help you realize that some of your thought processes, habits, philosophies and behaviors are unsupportive and hampering your level of success, fulfillment and happiness.

Enjoy the podcast below:

Warrior Mind Podcast

 

Who Ever You Think You Are, You're More Powerful Then That

Let’s Get Started

What does it mean to you to “grow up” emotionally and what would you have to do to move to the next level of psychological charity?

Often in the heat of a situation we revert back to the emotions we know best.  Sure we try to hide them behind a façade, but the bottom line is often when under pressure we let our emotions get the best of us.  We used phrases like “all the time”, “every time” “you always” when we get upset.  These universal qualifiers are the same a child uses.

Thinking back to some of your most recent situations were you “lost it” consider the Big Question and journal your responses or share it in the comments below.

Even the words we use to describe a situation are often exaggerated, words like - this is horrible, I’m so angry, how horrific, as well as the expressions when we see/hear something  – WOW!! Oh my God!  I’m stunned!

Our words don’t describe a situation…they create it.

What would happen if you didn’t label your emotions and only observed them…felt them…acknowledged them?  Refer to the feeling exercise in a previous podcast.

There has been an emphasis on Emotional Intelligence – Emotional intelligence (EI) is an ability, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.

Various models and definitions have been proposed of which the ability and trait EI models are the most widely accepted in the scientific literature. Criticisms have centered on whether the construct is a real intelligence and whether it has incremental validity over IQ and the Big Five personality dimensions.

The Big five factors in Emotional Intelligence:  are openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism (OCEAN, or CANOE if rearranged).

The Big Five factors and their constituent traits can be summarized as:

  • Openness – (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious). Appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and variety of experience.
  • Conscientiousness – (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless). A tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement; planned rather than spontaneous behavior.
  • Extraversion – (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved). Energy, positive emotions, urgency, and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others.
  • Agreeableness – (friendly/compassionate vs. cold/unkind). A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others.
  • Neuroticism – (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident). A tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, or vulnerability.

Openness to experience

Openness is a general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination, curiosity, and variety of experience. The trait distinguishes imaginative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. People who are open to experience are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more creative and more aware of their feelings. They are more likely to hold unconventional beliefs.

People with low scores on openness tend to have more conventional, traditional interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion or even view these endeavors as uninteresting.

Sample openness items

  • I have a rich vocabulary.
  • I have a vivid imagination.
  • I have excellent ideas.
  • I spend time reflecting on things.
  • I use difficult words.
  • I am not interested in abstractions. (reversed)
  • I do not have a good imagination. (reversed)
  • I have difficulty understanding abstract ideas. (reversed)

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness is a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement against measures or outside expectations. The trait shows a preference for planned rather than spontaneous behavior. It influences the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses.

Sample conscientiousness items

  • I am always prepared.
  • I am exacting in my work.
  • I follow a schedule.
  • I like order.
  • I pay attention to details.
  • I leave my belongings around. (reversed)
  • I make a mess of things. (reversed)
  • I often forget to put things back in their proper place. (reversed)
  • I shirk my duties. (reversed)

Extraversion

(Extraversion and introversion)

Extraversion is characterized by positive emotions, surgency, and the tendency to seek out stimulation and the company of others. The trait is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, and are often perceived as full of energy. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented individuals who are likely to say “Yes!” or “Let’s go!” to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the social exuberance and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to seem quiet, low-key, deliberate, and less involved in the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression. Introverts simply need less stimulation than extraverts and more time alone. They may be very active and energetic, simply not socially.

Sample extraversion items

  • I am the life of the party.
  • I don’t mind being the center of attention.
  • I feel comfortable around people.
  • I start conversations.
  • I talk to a lot of different people at parties.
  • I am quiet around strangers. (reversed)
  • I don’t like to draw attention to myself. (reversed)
  • I don’t talk a lot. (reversed)
  • I have little to say. (reversed)

Agreeableness

Agreeableness is a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. The trait reflects individual differences in general concern for social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are generally considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others’ well-being, and are less likely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others’ motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Sample agreeableness items

  • I am interested in people.
  • I feel others’ feelings.
  • I have a soft heart.
  • I make people feel at ease.
  • I sympathize with others’ feelings.
  • I take time out for others.
  • I am not interested in other people’s problems. (reversed)
  • I am not really interested in others. (reversed)
  • I feel little concern for others. (reversed)
  • I insult people. (reversed)
  • I like being isolated. (reversed)

Neuroticism

Neuroticism is the tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, or depression. It is sometimes called emotional instability. Those who score high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive and vulnerable to stress. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish the ability of a person scoring high on neuroticism to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings.

Sample neuroticism items

  • I am easily disturbed.
  • I change my mood a lot.
  • I get irritated easily.
  • I get stressed out easily.
  • I get upset easily.
  • I have frequent mood swings.
  • I often feel blue.
  • I worry about things.
  • I am relaxed most of the time. (reversed)
  • I seldom feel blue. (reversed)

Coaching Mental Strength

My goal here is to increase your level of awareness as relates to your emotional “maturity” and to recognize supportive and unsupportive responses.  Again I would ask you go through all the questions and keep this concept in mind when you answer them and to keep this awareness on a regular basis.  After a while this will become a part of your everyday analysis

Final Thought

The average person does not have the mental strength to respond to adversity with a warrior mindset.  The idea presented here of “growing up” is easy to understand and a little in-your-face.  The bluntness of the expression is to quickly gain your attention.

The key is…how will you respond?

Are you ready for the task for developing mental and emotional strength or you will deny this opportunity for personal development and quickly discount this post by expressing “BS!”?

If you’d like some assistance with the development of your mental and emotional strength request your Introductory Consolation

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Mar 232011
 
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Over the past few weeks I’ve been discussing a topic near and dear to my heart…taking action!  In Creating Action For Personal Success – Part I, I began with how creating action is not always easy, it does take mental strength. However personal goalsit is critical to our feeling of personal success and achievement. Action is doing. It is experiencing something.

In Creating Action For Personal Success – Part II, I discussed some application from a coaching perspective that I use and you can utilize as well.  Today I’m going to continue with…

In Creating Action For Personal Success – Part III, I discussed failure to act and how to over come this.

Today I’m going to discuss…

Personal Goals and Values

As a coach, I support my clients in creating value-based goals. Before any goal setting takes place, my client must first determine what their values are. Orienting the goals around my client‘s values will make them compelling and will pull the client forward and reach their personal success.

Most of us live full and busy lives with competing demands for our precious time and energy. We need to priorities so that only those things that really matter get our full energy. By creating goals based on our values we ensure the optimal return on our investment of time and energy, because our success will be in the areas that matter the most to us.

There are many reasons why people make goals for themselves that are not aligned with their values or are not as closely aligned with their values as other personal goals. A common reason is pressure from others such as family and friends. An example of this is the person who feels pressure to pursue a particular career because other members of the family are in that profession or it has a high status in their family and the community. Or the person who feels compelled to take on a family business or farm or to marry early.

Another reason why people make goals for themselves that are not aligned with their values is social pressure from peers. Perhaps they move in a social circle where everyone has a particular type of house or car, or perhaps a holiday house. All of a sudden they find themselves working towards a goal of buying a new house without ever thinking about whether this is what they really want in their lives, or whether it aligns with their values.

This mental strength misalignment can present itself in two ways. Firstly they can achieve the goal and then be left wondering why it doesn‘t make them as happy as they thought it might. Alternatively, it can manifest itself as setting goals that are never achieved. For example, an individual can say that his goal is to buy a more prestigious property but then spend all his spare money on other things. Not achieving the goal can then damage their self esteem, making it harder for him to set more meaningful goals in the future and reach their peak personal performance.

A common reason why people make goals is because it’s “the right thing to do.” This is why giving up smoking and going to the gym appear so frequently on lists of New Year‘s resolution. These are both admirable goals and, if pursued for the right reasons, will reap rewards. However, making a goal because it is expected of you is unlikely to result in success. Staying motivated and committed will be difficult if your goal is not aligned with your values. You will be far more likely to succeed in a goal that helps you to be aligned with your better self, and which supports your vision of the way the world should be. These sorts of goals will not only be more achievable, but will bring the most lasting joy.

Creating a Process

Once a person is in a place where they want to begin setting goals, there are any number of tools, systems and strategies that you can provide for them to plan and document their goals. It‘s important that whatever process you offer that it supports the client and doesn‘t drive them in a direction of its own making. A process or system has values attached to it so ensure the values are aligned with the client. New Year‘s resolutions are built around a particular belief and if your client doesn‘t hold this belief then they will not create goals around this time. As with all techniques there is, of course, no hard and fast rule. Making and keeping goals is an art rather than a science. There are many paths to successful goal achievement.

Although there are many ways to achieve goals, there are a few ?tried and true? principles that you can use to support your clients to achieve their goals.

1.      Keep Goals Up Front. A good question to ask a client when they have developed a set of goals is “How can you keep those goals in sight so that you don‘t forget about them”. The client may then choose to write them down, put them in a prominent place or review them daily. They may choose to create an “affirmation” or positive statement about each goal that they repeat to themselves each morning.

2.     Lookout for Hijackers. Goals and actions must work together. If a person has a goal of spending more time with his or her family, and they then consider taking on a job that includes huge amounts of interstate travel, then their goal is likely to be hijacked. Keeping goals upfront is a good way for them to avoid this. Another way is for you to ask “How will this decision support your goals?” or “Will this take you closer or further from your goals?” Remember, everyone has every the right to put aside goals that no longer serve them. The support that I offer is gently…and sometimes not so gently…lead them through a thought process which compares their actions to their goals so that they don‘t inadvertently sabotage them. After they go through this process, they can then choose to let a goal drop away for other reasons, suspend judgment.

3.     Sprint, Don’t Walk – Remember that goals are a series of sprints not a marathon.  That is, you give it all got for a “short” burst, then take a “breather.”  This short burst can be to your first milestone or short-term goal.  Swaying from time to time happens to all of us. It is the journey that counts. One of the reasons why clients shy away from setting goals is that they fear that they will be criticized for not reaching milestones. It‘s essential that they know that their support, coach, friend will never criticize or judge them, but will provide support to them when they fall over the inevitable hurdles that get between them and their goals. Setting a combination of short and long term goals is important. Long-term goals provide a vision; short-term steps along the way help us to remain focused and to feel a sense of achievement.

4.     Remain Flexible. Don’t be so rigid in reaching your personal goals that you close yourself off from opportunities that suddenly present themselves. As you achieve success you’ll move from the realm of the “known” and discover things that they “didn‘t know they didn‘t know”. This new information creates an impacts on your future goals. It is a natural and positive thing for individuals to alter personal goals or to simply let them go. The difference between failure to meet a goal, and simply letting the goal go, because it no longer serves you, comes back to your values. By keeping focused on your values you can feel free to rework goals when necessary to match your evolving “reality”.

5.     Support: Some goals can be achieved alone, but some require the support of others. For example, a goal to keep a house more tidy and inviting requires the support of everyone who lives there, not you. Similarly, there are many workplace goals that require the consent of a number of players. When supporting my client to make goals, I often ask whether the goal requires the cooperation of others and helping them to develop strategies to either gain the support of the other players or alternatively to reshape the goal.

6. Structures: You’re much more likely to achieve goals if you have structures in place to support them. When my clients are making goals I have two roles. One role is to encourage and “enthuse” them; the other is to make sure that they maximize the chance of success by putting in place a structure. A typical question is “What can you put in place to make this goal easier to achieve?”

7.      Phrase Goals in the Positive, instead of the negative. You will have much more success in achieving goals if you feel you are being pulled towards something positive rather than pushing away from something negative. There are a number of ways that I support my clients to work from ‘what they want’, as opposed to ‘what they don’t want’ or want to leave behind. One strategy is to reframe and use positive language. For example, if you say, “I want to leave my dull and unrewarding job and get a better one”, I would respond, “OK, what kind of job DO you want that would make you feel fulfilled and excited to get up each day for work.”

8. Accountability. Some clients want me to be a strong accountability partner. They expect me to remember their goals and to question them about milestones. Other clients may find this like a boss or babysitter. Many only wan to discuss goals with me in their own time and don’t want to return if things are going well. It’s important to determine the level of accountability YOU require and then go get it. As a coach I never assume that my role is to hold someone to account for goals unless my client specifically requests this. If someone comes to you with their personal goals a good question to ask is “How can I best support you to achieve these goals?” or “Would you like me to be an accountability partner for these goals? How would you see that working?”

9.     Getting Attached: Often we get locked into a goal, feeling perhaps that the goal is “a must have.” If we do not achieve the goal we may feel like a failure. Here is an opportunity to reframe the situation so that you can go for the goal and not get locked into it. You will be free to set much bigger and higher goals with a relaxed state of mind. If you focus only on the end result you’ll miss the journey. You won‘t be present and as a result may not notice that you need to alter the route or simply readjust the goal.

10.  Celebrate! It is so important to celebrate the achievement of personal goals and personal success. Celebrate the achievement with your friends, family, coworkers and encourage them to celebrate their achievements as well. Encourage them and yourself to celebrate the small steps. A great question to ask when goal setting is “How are you going to celebrate reaching this magnificent goal?”

I’ll be continuing this topic next week.  Until then please share your thoughts in the comments below

Find out more about taking courageous action and achieving personal goals and personal success by picking up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your future and develop the mental strength and mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

Great way to “kick start” your inspired action…take a look at The 2nd Passage….this is a truly life transforming event!

I’d also like to thank ICA again for their inspiration and assistance on this topic.

I’ll be continuing this topic next week….Oh yea…did you get a chance to check out the new section on my blog “Warrior Mind Programming”?  This is where I have some great audio programs designed to bring your brainwaves into a Alpha, Theta, or Delta state and create synchronization between the two hemispheres.

If this sounds Greek to you, no worries…I have complimentary direct download e-book on the page that explains everything! Once you have experienced this process you’ll understand, feel and see the affects.

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Mar 022011
 
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As the quote at the top of this blog says:mental strength

“Success in life is not a matter of chance; It’s about managed emotions, focused attention and deliberate action.”

Nothing…absolutely nothing happens without action!

As Tim Armstrong says in his song ‘Into Action’

“Let’s get moving into action

Let’s get moving into action

If your life’s too slow, no satisfaction

Find something out there, there’s an attraction

If you hesitate now, that’s a subtraction

So let’s get moving girl into action”

The lyrics above in the above song drive home the meaning of creating action. If you don‘t take action then there is no satisfaction…and most likely a subtraction. Movement created by taking action creates a momentum and this in turn shifts us out of our current situation. This movement, shifts the energy in our bodies and helps to even change our perspective…motion creates emotion.

This is very apparent when having to make a decision. Remember a time when you had to make an important decision. You probably weighed up all the information, went back and forth, weren‘t sure which way to go forward or which decision to make. While this was going on you may have felt a great level of anxiety, not knowing what the future held for you until you made your decision. Finally the time comes when a decision must be made. You choose and in that moment, you take a big breathe and release all the anxiety and feel relieved. This is the beauty of creating action. It moves you to a new space, time, and journey towards your personal goals.

Creating action is not always easy, it does take mental strength. However it is critical to our feeling of personal success and achievement. Action is doing. It is experiencing something. Action is an opportunity for you to experience something new, to learn. Action is about your development and your personal growth. To take action is like a plant growing. If the plant doesn‘t grow, it dies. How many times have you observed people who are not passionate about life, who are not happy in life? At some point in time these people chose not to grow, to stop developing themselves, to stop taking action. Now you can see the results of this. Taking action can be fearful as there is uncertainty around taking action and you won’t know where you are moving to or what the “other side” of taking the action will bring you. So the choice is to either never know and to stay still or to take the action and to create the life you want, to grow and develop and learn and blossom, like the flowers on a healthy beautiful tree and reach your full potential and peak performance.

To create action requires personal discipline. The result of this personal discipline is personal success and personal achievement by achieving your personal goals. There are times when we may be tired or other events are happening in our life that distracts you. It is at this moment in time that you need to get focused again. Loss of focus means loss of action.

Lets look at Peter’s story  to understand the importance of creating action.

Peter was working in a large furniture store as the manager. He had a background in accounting and managed several staff. He loved managing a business and had many business colleagues that he regularly networked with. He volunteered to be on the board of the local hospital and was very active in this role. He was highly regarded in the community in which he lived. He was married and had two children and had recently purchased a new home, which he was repaying.

One day a colleague of his mentioned a new role for a manager in the hospital. The person they were looking for had to have good accounting skills and managerial skills. Peter‘s experience of being on the board meant that he knew the business well. The hospital administration spoke to Peter and suggested that he apply for the position as he was highly regarded and would most likely be successful in his application given his skills and board responsibilities and involvement. Peter went away and spoke to his wife about the job opportunity. This was exactly the career direction that he wanted to go in. This would really challenge him and stretch him in his development as a manager.

However he also knew that there was not as much job security in this role as the hospital was vulnerable to government funding changes. His wife outlined how they had just purchased a new home and that their children were now going to school and that although the new job would give them extra revenue, the job security was a concern. Peter weighed this all up. He knew his current role really well and was highly respected by his staff. A change this big would have many ramifications on his family and his life. He would have to work longer hours in getting up to speed with the new job, it was a much bigger job in terms of responsibilities and skill.

After much deliberation, Peter decided it was safer and easier to stick to what he knew rather than make such a big change. The job security also concerned him and as he made his final decision not to apply for the new job, he felt a feeling of sadness overwhelm him. Over the next few years, Peter lost motivation and gradually started to loss confidence. His decision to stay in what he knew meant that he also had resigned himself to not having to learn or stretch himself any more. His disappointment at not taking the job and facing his fears around it, had left him in a still place.

As the years passed, so too did the security around the furniture business until finally the store closed. Peter found himself looking for work and resorted to asking a friend to help him. His confidence in finding a new job was very low and he chose to help out his friend in business instead of taking on a new career challenge. The new role with his friend required less skill and slowly overtime Peter became dependent on his friend to provide him with work. Peter didn‘t participate in any courses, didn‘t develop himself in any new way. He stopped his community involvement and his enthusiasm slowly faded. He didn‘t enjoy his job but he didn‘t feel he could find another job or had the confidence to go in search of one.

Peter‘s story is all too uncommon today. The choice he made many years ago was made around creating safety and fear of change. His wife was also fearful of the changes a new career would bring. Peter stopped taking action, Peter stopped learning, Peter stopped developing himself, Peter stopped growing…Peter did not reach personal success.

Personal Success

  • Is the achievement of the things in life we are passionate about
  • Is not what we have been told or instructed to believe
  • Is personal and can only be achieved when measured against the goals we have set for ourselves.
  • Is a change in the way we view life.
  • Is moving forward
  • Is using your mental strength to take action
  • Feels great

Application

Creating action can be challenging – what next step to take, how to take it, etc. Let‘s go through a process to get you into action.

You are sitting in a café drinking coffee and it is five years from now. You pick up a newspaper and read a story about yourself.

  • What does the story say?
  • What have you achieved, what are you known for?
  • Draw or write what you see
  • List all the things you have achieved by this time?
  • How are you feeling now that you have achieved these goals?
  • Can you visualize yourself?
  • What are you most passionate about?
  • Write a list of the top 5 things you have achieved in your success journal
  • Priorities this list. What is number one all the way to five?
  • Under each item identify 5 steps you could take to begin to achieve this goal?
  • If you dare…share this information with someone you trust and who will support you…or perhaps a coach :-)
  • Tell this person how you want them to support you in achieving these 5 steps and 5 goals.
  • What is the first step or action you need to take now to achieve these personal goals?

After you have gone through this process observe the increase in energy in your body. It is very exciting to be thinking about moving forward, achieving your Vision you have just created. There will be times along the way on your journey to achieving your vision where you feel as though you have lost sight of it. Anchor these feelings now so that you can think and feel back to this time and the energy levels you had and the feelings you had at the moment in creating your vision and getting clear about it.

Think about the first action steps you took and what you have achieved so far. Acknowledge your achievements. Bring yourself back to the moment of energy positively flowing through you, the excitement rising again. Exercise, meditate, do yoga, or whatever you need to do to bring yourself back to this moment of energy and focus. Think about what you have already achieved and what you are grateful for. Notice how you are now feeling. You will notice that your energy has gone from an inward reflecting, perhaps even negative self talk conversation to an outward focus. This shift in energy will propel you forward and you then need to work out what is your next action step.

Contemplation

  • Describe a time when you felt like you were really moving forward. What did you put in place in your life to create this?
  • What supports do you have in your life to achieve your goals and to keep you moving forward?
  • You have completed the action process above, how are you feeling?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below

If you’d like to find out more about how to take courageous action and step into your personal power so that you can achieve personal success, pick up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

How ever…if you are feeling really “stuck” I would strongly suggest taking a look at The 2nd Passage….this is a life transforming event.

I’d like to thank ICA for their inspiration and assistance on this topic.

I’ll be continuing this topic next week.

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Feb 232011
 
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In “Personal Success and Communicating – Part I“, I discussed giving feedback vs. judgment as well as the “basic’s” of personal growthcommunication.  In yesterday’s post “Resonance Trance Attention For Personal Growth” I discussed the uniqueness of the multiple voices in our heads during a conversation.

Today I’m going to finish up with practical applications of consciousness communication and how it affects your personal success.

Application

Everyday the language you use is a record of who you are and what you are feeling and thinking at that moment.  It is totally and completely about you. If you stop and listen to yourself then the message that you transmitting is totally about your opinions, thoughts and feelings. It is totally about your underlying and unconsciousness beliefs. It is about your judgments, your perceptions and your perspective.

The key in everyday communication is to be aware of this and to take responsibility for your language, your state and the messages you send out. Raise your awareness of the language you use and understand that it is a reflection of you at that moment. Don‘t fall into the trap of telling someone they don‘t understand what you are talking about. Own the message you are transmitting and the response you get.

The second key in everyday communication is to remember that any messages that you receive are about them…the recipient. You do not have to take on the emotion of someone else‘s message. Whatever they say is about their belief or perception.

If you follow these two keys then you will understand that the message is about them, not you and you take it all in stride and not be offended. Instead you will give it the distance you need to be able to see the person behind it and get the meaning of the message that the transmitter intended. If a message comes out in a loud aggressive tone then check in with the transmitter to see how they are feeling. Don‘t make assumptions about the meaning of a message. Check the meaning and emotions back of the actual words.

Communicating across cultures means that language and concepts can have different meanings. It is always important to not react to the message but to check in first for its meaning as intended by the transmitter. This can lead to great personal growth and prevent many misunderstandings.

Being a good communicator is about using you mental strength and recognizing that when a person speaks, the message is about where they are at in that moment in time and the message is being passed through their filters…it’s about them. A good communicator has the inner strength to recognize that their response to a message is about where they are at the moment in time.

If we all lived by this way of communicating, we would decrease the number of misunderstandings in our life. We would also honor the person who is speaking to us by listening to them and getting further clarity to make sure their message is understood.

Contemplation

Allocate one day where you raise your consciousness and awareness around the language you use when you speak. What words do you use over and over again and what do these words tell you about your underlying beliefs, your state and your filters.

Coaching Application

As a coach, one of my tasks is to listen to the message and to feed that message back to my clients. Hearing a message spoken back to the transmitter, my clients, is a great way to raise their awareness of how they communicate and the language they use. It is also a great way for your clients to see their underlying and unconsciousness beliefs.

The language a person uses is also an important indicator of how they feel about themselves. As their coach I often share the language a person uses, and investigate the “meaning” is behind it.  This is like holding a mirror up to them for them to “see” the message they are delivering.

Coaching is all about two people communicating. It is really important that as their coach I am aware of how I am communicating and how my clients interpret the messages I give them. I always check in with them to see what meaning they are taking as this gives me insight into both my way of communicating and how they are interpreting my message. The interpretation of a message is about what a person believes so it can unlock great understanding for the client.

Recently a friend shared a story about a coaching experience. Their client was feeling challenged about caring for themselves. They just didn‘t want to stop and look after themselves. This frightened them and they felt that stopping would reveal too much about how they needed to change their life. So the coach suggested that it was like they were living two lives. The coach referred to their live as like living with a split personality. The client immediately responded angrily saying “Please don‘t refer to split personalities as I have spent many years working for people with this psychological disorder and it is not something to talk about in this way.” The client went on to talk about how difficult the life of a person with a split personality is and how they felt for them and how this use of language in the coaching really irritated them. The coach listened to their client. They didn‘t react to it, they just listened to their client.

As the coaching continued the client spoke about other people in their life that they wanted to defend and care for. After hearing this many times, the coach asked the client why they were able to care for people with split personalities, and other people in their life but not themselves. The client stopped speaking, took a deep breathe and recognized a pattern in their life. They realized that by telling themselves that they were caring for everyone else helped them to justify not stopping to care for themselves. They had even convinced themselves that no one realized that they didn‘t stop to care for themselves. They did this really well. The coach then asked how they hid it. As the conversation unfolded the client again became aware of how they weren‘t hiding it but rather again convincing themselves that they were. They were playing a game of self deception.

This example could have had a completely different outcome if the coach had of been offended by the clients comments about their use of language. However, the coach realized that this message was about the client. The coach didn‘t use the language again and recognized that for this client that example wasn‘t working for them. This was only possible by the coach creating a space for the communication to connect within.

Communicating is a bit like sending a message out into a space. A person then sees the message in that space and responds to it. By doing this, it takes the emotion and the personality out of a message. It gives it enough space for us to be able to ask questions to get clarity around it.

Reflection

  • What type of language do you use in your everyday life?
  • Think of a time when you received a message and took the message personally. What was happening in your life at that time?
  • How does your communication affect your personal success?
  • How can you be more aware of your language in your everyday communication?

I hope you enjoyed this series in communication. If you’d like to find out more about the filters of communication and how to step into your personal power and become a better communicator so that you can achieve personal success sooner, pick up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

I’d like to thank ICA for their inspiration and assistance on this topic.

OK…how do you feel you communicate?  What’s been a recent ‘miscommunication’ situation and how did you resolve it?  Please let me know in the comments below.

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