Jan 042013
 
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Well here we are…2013.  Isn’t it magnificent!  With our futures full of potential how do you plan on harvesting your wheel of lifeabundance?

In my personal development coaching I emphasize that those things we want, like more money, deeper relationships, and a better career are all external to us. The Wheel of Life is often used to help individuals determine which areas they “should” be working on.

Very few course or people describe what is in the center of The Wheel of Life.  You know what it is right?

It’s you!

And all those spokes and areas of life that come out from the center come from you!

Think about this, if you want some external change you MUST change your internal first.  If you simply focus on the external you ignore the creator of that which you seek, which is you.

When you work on your self it’s often called personal development, self-improvement or self-help and no matter what it’s called to object is for you to work on you first. To get yourself aligned with your desires.

Below is an outline that I use in creating a personal development plan.  And I think as you see the simplicity if it, you’ll also recognize that the “how” and the execution might be a bit more difficult.

Personal Development Plan

  • Physical
    • Strength
    • Endurance
    • Flexibility
    • Nutrition
  • Mental
    • Beliefs
    • Self-Talk
    • Visualization
    • PI (positive intelligence)
  • Emotional
    • Focus
    • Meaning
    • Energy Management
    • EI (emotional intelligence)
  • Spiritual
    • Meditation/Pray
    • Values
    • Code of Honor
    • SI (soul intelligence)

I encourage you take this outline, fill-in the details and start to create your individualized personal development plan.

If you need some assistance in the “Mental” part you might want to pick up a copy of Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior now.

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Jun 142011
 
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Welcome back!  This is a series on “positive motivation” bases on a e-course I’m taking.  The foundation of this is Goal Systemsrooted in positive physiology.

These series, and the e-course takes a look at the different aspects of motivation and how they can affect your personal success and reaching your personal goals.

Again, so far we’ve been talking about the “why” and “what” of motivation.  Today we’re going to explore systems for the achievement of personal goals.

The Goal Systems Approach to Motivation

This “goal systems” approach is in mechanistic in nature.  It sees humans similar to robots that need to be correctly programmed in order to achieve their personal goals and objective.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t resonate with the idea that we are like programmable robots! Although at some level we are all programmed, I like to believe that we can choose the programs to install.

Anyway, when this mechanical approach is combined with the humanistic SDT (Self-determination theory) approach, there is a very powerful resulting process.

To introduce the goal-systems perspective, let’s go back to the “why” question of motivation. SDT says it is best to do anything “because it is enjoyable” or “because I believe in it,” (intrinsic) and not “because I have to” or “because I ought to” (extrinsic).

But if you think about it, the “why” of many behaviors of yourself or others, it very often turns out to be a bit more complex than simply “how I feel about it.” Often one goal is related to another and they can be more accurately described by statements such as “because I needed to complete X before I could move on to Z” or “because X brings me closer to Z.” In this arrangement, X (the lower-level goal) supplies the “how” of Z (the higher-level goal), and Z supplies the “why” for X.

This is how I coach around setting goals.  I have my clients determine an “achievable outcome”, something one year out.  Then they set SMARTER goals for 1, 3, 6, and 9 months out.  The we break it down into strategies, tactics and an action plan.

This has worked VERY well.  So let’s take a look several points in a goals setting system.

Goal Systems Point 1: Hierarchical Organization

This point illustrates, action is hierarchically organized, that is longer-term goals, principles, and values set the agenda for shorter-term skills, processes, and procedures. Then the shorter-term action steps give the means of bridging the gap the between the present state and a desired future state.

In other words, short-term goals act like stepping-stones that help break up overwhelming goals and give us a clear path for progress.  In NLP terms we call this “chunking down.”

Imagine, for example you want to write a book. If you sat in front of a blank page on your computer screen and thought about the overwhelming task of churning out a 350 page story, you might give up, even though it is a meaningful goal to you.

Instead, what you would do is chunk down writing the book into smaller goals. You might consider writing a page or a chapter per day. Then these smaller goals will seem much easier to carry out and still putt you on the road to the long-term goal.

Goal systems are how we pull ourselves into the future — first envisioning, and then actually creating, how we want things to be. In addition, most if not all of  our momentary behaviors can be located somewhere within the overall system.

The ideal action system should have a clear set of characteristics. First, every goal, at every level, should be furnished with lower-level plans, skills, and procedures, that allow people to keep bridging the gap between the present state and desired future state.

Bringing this concept back to reality, ‘self-regulatory’ tools are necessary in order to pursue personal goals effectively and efficiently. That is, goals are not just products of random luck or the shotgun approach.  Succeeding at them is not a matter of effortless trial and error.

Instead, we have to be in control of our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and often at a conscious level in order to succeed. First, we need to be able to keep the goal in mind; second, we need to be able to mentally compare it to our current situation, noticing discrepancies between the goal and the current situation; third, we need to be able to act effectively to bridge the gap, and fourth, we need to be able to detect when the discrepancy is gone (when we have achieved the goal!), so we can stop taking action and celebrate!

The Four Steps of Goal Systems

  1. Keep the goal in mind
  2. Evaluate our current situation, and be able to compare it to where we want to be in terms of the ultimate goal.
  3. Understand what actions we need to take in order to reduce the discrepancy and move closer to the goal.
  4. Recognize when we have achieved the goal so we can quit working and pat ourselves on the back!

Goal Systems Point 2: Goal Conflict

A second positive goal system characteristic is, goals should be consistent with each other, and not conflict with one another.

For example, it would be hard to simultaneously achieve the goals of becoming an Olympic level athlete and reading all of the masterpieces of world literature! The problem here would be a time conflict.  There also can be material conflicts between goals, i.e. ”I want to own a private yacht and helicopter” but “I am dedicated to the idea of working in the non-profit sector for a low salary.” As well as logical conflicts between goals, i.e. to “become a more agreeable and cooperative person” may conflict with the goal to “aggressively grow my business by beating out the local competition”.

Chronic goal conflict is associated with chronic low-level stress and with increasing health problems over time, and thus it is worth the effort to untangle and sort out any such conflicts.

In NLP parts integration might be used to resolve these types of conflicts.  People who actively pursue conflicting goals find themselves frustrated, ambivalent, or stretched thin.

So far we’ve discussed that in a “positive goal system,”

  • Desired outcomes should be helped by goals at lower levels of the system, and should help goals at higher levels of the system.
  • People should be able to realize when action is needed towards a goal, and take action effectively.
  • Goals should not conflict with other goals at the same level of the system, and ideally, would help and support those same-level goals.

So, how can we tell if these are the case?

One way is to diagram your own goal system thoroughly, and to explore the helpful and harmful interconnections between the different goals.

Goal Systems Point 3: The Importance of Success Expectancies

A very important issue for motivation, from the goal systems perspective, is a person’s expectancies for success. Having high expectations for success (or a high sense of self-efficacy) provides many resources.

For example, when unexpected difficulties emerge, high-expectancy people do not immediately become discouraged and withdraw their effort; No…dig into their mental strength and keep going, and why shouldn’t they, after all this is the warrior mentality.

They expect to succeed in the end. Having high expectancies also allows us to proceed with social confidence and conviction, persuading and selling others on our intentions and thereby securing their help and cooperation.

But what if a person’s expectations seem overly optimistic, unrealistic, or even self-delusory? This can happen, but there this is still an open question of “how unrealistic is too unrealistic?” The existing research suggests that overall, positive illusions provide more benefits than drawbacks, often helping people turn former illusions into current reality. As a result, the take-home message for motivators is:

Always display confidence in your or your friends’ abilities to do what needs to be done, and do not be too quick to criticize your or their high ambitions!

Goal Systems Point 4: Approach and Avoidance Goals Differ

Another important distinction from the goal systems perspective is between approach motivation and avoidance motivation. In NLP we take about “move away from” and “move towards” goals.

Approach motivation is working toward a desirable future outcome, such as making a sale or getting a new client, whereas avoidance motivation refers to trying to avoid an undesirable outcome, such as trying not to get fired or not becoming overweight.

Most goals fall into approach or avoidance. The research shows that approach framing is preferable — both for promoting greater performance and achievement, and for promoting better mood and feeling.

Why?

First, avoidance goals contain an implied reference to failure, which can in the end automatically cue failure. If I am trying not to fail, I am aware of failure as a constant possibility. Just think of when we tell children “Don’t spill your drink!” – and then they do – at least in part because we primed that thought in them!

Second, achieving an approach goal simply requires finding one path to success, from among the many paths that may be available; in contrast, achieving an avoidance goal requires avoiding (or fending off) all possible paths to failure. The latter is often more difficult.

Third, the goal system is built to take action, not to avoid action. This makes avoidance goals logically awkward to pursue.

The take-home message for motivators is therefore:

Try to use approach (moving towards) rather than avoidance (moving away from) framing, whenever possible.

This can extend even to goals like “lose weight;” as framed, this has an avoidance component (avoid weight), and might be better framed as “exercise more” or “eat better.”

Review:

  1. In this post, we discussed the goal systems viewpoint upon motivation. This mechanistic approach, “positive motivation” means to be a high-functioning “robot”, with a well-constructed goal system full of action plans, strategies, skills, sensory acuity, and tactics, and with little conflict between goals. In this case, one makes swift progress towards the goals in the system.
  2. Goal systems thinking can tell us a lot about the “how” and “why” of motivation, by showing which higher-level goals supply the “why” for lower-level goals, and which lower-level goals supply the “how” for higher-level goals. They can also further clarify the “how” with concepts such as planning, bridging the gap, execution intent, and preparation.
  3. But we also noticed that goal system theories don’t talk about how the higher-level goals get into the system in the first place, i.e. did I really decide to become a doctor or this what my parents wanted?
  4. This shows the importance of picking goals that represent one’s true values, interests, and dispositions, rather than the insistence of others – in this case the Self owns the goal system, rather than being owned by it.

OK…I hope you go a lot out of this post…I know I did!  So…what are your thoughts?  Let me know in the comments below.

References:

  • Carver, C., & Scheier, M. (1998). On the self-regulation of behavior. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
  • Carver, C., & Scheier, M. (1998). On the self-regulation of behavior. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
  • Emmons, R. A., & King, L. (1988). Conflict among personal strivings:
  • Immediate and long-term implications for psychological and physical wellbeing. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 10401048.
  • Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. New York, N.Y: Freeman and Co.
  • Taylor, S. E., Kemeny, M. E., Reed, G. M., Bower, J. E., & Gruenewald, T. L. (2000). Psychological resources, positive illusions, and health. American Psychologist, 55, 99-109.
  • Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans. American Psychologist, 54, 493-503.
  • Bargh, J. A., Gollwitzer, P. M., Lee-Chai, A., Barndollar, K., & Troetschel, R. (2001). The automated will: Nonconscious activation and pursuit of behavioural goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81, 1014-1027
  • Elliot, A.J., & Sheldon, K.M. (1998). Avoidance personal goals and the personality-illness relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 1282-1299
  • Sheldon, K. M. & Elliot, A.J. (1999). Goal striving, need-satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The Self-Concordance Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 482-497.
  • Sheldon, K. M. (2002). The self-concordance model of healthy goal-striving: When personal goals correctly represent the person. In E.L. Deci & R.M. Ryan (Eds.), Handbook of self-determination research (pp. 65-86). Rochester, NY: University of Rochester Press.
  • Elliot, A. J., Maier, M. A., Moller, A. C., Friedman, R., & Meinhardt, J. (2007). Color and psychological functioning: The effect of red on performance attainment. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 136, 154-168.
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Feb 252011
 
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Let’s take a short trip.  Close your eyes…well not now, first read the next paragraph. Close your eyes and remember a inner strengthtime in your life when you felt inspired and excited to make a significant change. What happened? Did you go for it or did your inner obstacles get in the way?

Your beliefs, thoughts and feelings are the foundation on which you build your mental strength, hence your personal success. A solid house can’t built on a foundation of shifting sand, or a compose pile.  The same applies to achieving success by using mental strength.

If your beliefs that lead to your thoughts are shaky, scattered and uncontrolled, they will creates internal obstacles that will hold you back unless you destroy them.

Many times it’s our “good intention” friends, colleagues and family members who plant the seed of doubt by trying to talk you out of changing your path. It is when you decide to make a better life for yourself that your decision will be met by all kinds of warnings and cry’s of “look out!”

People will tell you “That sounds great, but do you have any idea how much that will cost you or how long it’ll take to get the kind of result you want?” Or, “What makes you think YOU can do that?” Or, “Why in the world do you want to change? Just put in your time and be happy.”  Or the big one…”What will happen if . . .?”

Regardless of who and where this “advice come from, they only serve to increase your level of anxiety and self doubts. The best way to handle such opinions is to say what my good friend T. Harv Eker says, “Thanks for sharing” and then immediately forget what they said.

Learning to handle obstacles is the best way to exercise your inner strength, stand your ground and succeed. While listening or running away only serves to undermines your self esteem.

The Universe presents you with these challenges in order for you to learn to how to develop mental strength, grow stronger and more confident in yourself.

To succeed at overcoming obstacles you need to have the mental strength to stick through any adversity, if you truly believe in your personal goals.  You must see things through; to have the mindset to believe more in yourself than in the obstacles and to have the willingness to do what it takes to turn the obstacles around.

This means, you need to stand up to your obstacles and not just believe you can overcome them, but take action AND overcome them! When you attack your obstacles head-on, you’ll find that they will simply evaporate.  Heck, you might even have some fun at the same time.

Standing up to and conquering your obstacles develops the inner strength within you and creates sense of accomplishment that reinforces the sense of your personal power. By developing mental strength habits, you instill into your psyche a strong message of endurance and success. This strengthens the belief in yourself and what you can accomplish.

Sometimes you may have to resort to some other measures to overcome obstacles. Here a few simple yet powerful techniques to assist you in developing mental strength

Contemplation:

Ask yourself if the obstacle can be ignored. Your fixation of the problem only renders it more cumbersome. If possible, stop paying attention to it. Remember, energy flows where attention goes and results show.

Use humor to neutralize obstacle. This helps to diffuse the tension around the issue.

Take the bull by the horn and address the challenge head-on. This might be challenging at first, particularly if you are not used to confrontation. Yet the more you do it, the easier it will become.

Action Steps:

1.See obstacles as a learning to move you forward, fail forward fast!

2. Repeat loudly as often as necessary to yourself: “I have overcome this”, or “This to shall pass.”

3. Confront obstacles as habits of success (and not of failure.)

4. Develop the ability to overcome, bypass, or eliminate obstacles.

5. When difficult circumstances arise, take massive and immediate action.

You can only allow other people to put obstacles in your path, you either accept them or not, it’s totally up to you. Learn how to develop mental strength by standing up to the challenges without complaining. Have the mental strength to change your thoughts and beliefs that you can succeed and you will reach peak personal performance.

If you’d like to find out more about developing mental strength, inner strength and how to step into your personal power and become a better communicator so that you can achieve personal success sooner, pick up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” today.

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

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Feb 242011
 
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Setting goals, concentration and imagery are basic mental strength skills which are crucial in sports and personal Inner Strengthperformance.

However, what does an athlete do exactly whenever worry and anxiety find their way into your thoughts at and during a competition and jeopardize their performance?

Symptoms of nervousness; things like sweaty hands, rushing heart, edginess, tight muscles, doubts, worry as well as trouble concentrating tend to be typical experiences for a lot of sports athletes.  However, they are particularly disturbing right before and especially during competition. Make no doubt about it, this stress and anxiety WILL have a detrimental impact on overall performance.

And so, what can an athlete do?

Change Your Perception

When I have discussed anxiousness previously, it had been emphasized that on occasion, stress and anxiety may harm performance, but not necessarily all the time. Sadly, it’s often the case that when an athlete experiences anxiety, or nervousness before a competition, he or she automatically thinks, “oh no, I am nervous…this is not good…this is going to end badly.”

Being nervous and stress should not necessarily be an “oh no” occurrence, as anxiety doesn’t always hurt performance. In fact, various theories help us understand the relationship between anxiety and performance and suggest that anxiety can actually help performance—up to a point.

Think about it from a useful standpoint. Haven’t you found that occasionally a little nervousness or anxiousness gets you primed to compete?

Of course you have.

And maybe it’s all in how we label the emotion.  If we didn’t have words to describe the feeling we would simply acknowledge that we have “a funny feeling.”  Interesting, if you took away the label of anxiety or nervousness and just compared the feeling of the energy, the location of it and the size it, I bet it would almost the exact same as excitement.

Here’s a quick tip, when you begin to get those pre-competition emotion such as anxious or nervousness just reframe it and call it excitement, i.e. “Wow…I’m really feeling excited about this match.” This simple reframe will work wonders!

OK…back to the main issue…

The increased emotions before a competition boost in arousal before and can elevate your heart rate and raise your body temperature, helping your body’s physiological systems get ready for the event. So, be careful in “labeling” any apprehension you experience as damaging and something you need to abolish.

Instead, realize that of what you are experiencing and change your point of view regarding anxiety and its role on performance.

See ‘anxiety’ as something that can help improve your performance and take the necessary steps to keep control of it…I have had much success with athletes and tactical athletes simply reframing/relabeling the feeling to “excitement.” After all, only good things are going to happen when we’re excited right?

Establish Your Most Favorable Anxiety Levels

If you’re going to continue to label the emotion as anxiety, then….

If some anxiety and nervous seems to help performance (at times), but too much anxiety hurts performance, what are you supposed to do?

How much nervousness is the right amount?

The answer…it depends on you.

That is, the best possible anxiety levels are individualized; some athletes have peak performance with a little anxiety, others with modest anxiety and still others with elevated anxiety levels. Think back on your past competitive experiences and begin to access which level you perform best under.

Think back to before your peak performances and take note on how nervous or anxious were you? What were you specifically thinking about and feeling? Now go back to your inferior performances and do the same.   Write them down…just don’t think about them.    You can even at a point score, i.e. very nervous = 5, great performance = 5. This will give you a comparison. You’ll then be able to see patterns emerging that connect certain levels of nervousness to levels of performances.   Now, using mental training, think about duplicating or modeling the exact and identical level of energy (anxiety) that produced the best results.  As opposed to thinking “oh no” when experiencing pre-competition anxiety.

You will need to exercise your mental strength and learn, practice and implement these anxiety management skills regularly. The mental strength skills to manage anxiety are fairly basic and easy to understand, but they are hard to put into implement effectively, especially when they needed the most.

Think about this…how many time do you still see an elite level athletes tensing up and missing a critical field goal, a shot on goal or overthrowing a ball in the baseball game?

Yup…it happens to the best of them.

What Type Are You?

If you’re more prone to be overwhelmed by the physical symptoms of anxiety (as described above), your pre-competition agenda should be to focus on calming your body using techniques like:  controlled breathing, mild massage, stretching, affirmations (mantras), moving around, dynamic warm-ups to stay lose and relaxed.

If you’re more affected but the mental anxiety…the ‘monkey talk’, then your primary focus should be to calm the mind.  Successful skills include; focusing on functional and process goals, use positive self-talk, meditation, listen to music and remind yourself of past successes. The key here is to distract yourself and not think about the “what if’s” and being worried and staying calm and focused.

There is a powerful method that does involve ‘outcome’ visualization.  It’s been found that when an athlete, or any person, is anxious about a particular situation, they are seeing the end results as something they DON’T want, i.e. tripping in a race, not making the shot, etc.

When this comes up an easy method to reverse this is to see yourself a few minutes after successfully completing the task at hand.  Actually visualize yourself seeing the successful completion of the event.  Then come back to ‘now’ and see if you’re still anxious.  If not, give your attention to process that will make this goal a reality.

An important note is that these mental strength skills and techniques must be practiced regularly. Practice them during your training sessions by intentionally setting up situations that will increase your anxiety.  This will present you with a great opportunity to practice your energy (anxiety) management skills.

Understanding The Fundamental Causes of Anxiety

While it is important and critical to have skills to deal with stress sand anxiety, it is likewise, if not more important to look for and identify the “whys” behind nervousness. Why are you more nervous today than you were before the game last week? What’s going on?  Self observation and questioning are crucial in understand how you and why you respond the way you do.

Various research studies have pointed out that the greater the importance of the event, the more pumped-up your anxiety will become. It’s worth noting that the importance is decided by you and no one else. This is why you’ll generally feel greater anxiety before the state championship or regional championship game than you will before a pre-season and apparently “meaningless” competition. In addition, the greater the uncertainty about the event, i.e. who will be there, who’s my competition, etc, the more elevated your anxiety will be.

I know, you’re thinking, “of course there is uncertainty, that the nature of the beast.  There is always uncertainty around who’s going to win” Sure, but you are able to control this uncertainty…the uncertainty in you mind. You need to recognize that while the outcome of an event is uncertain and is completely out of your control.  You can however, control 100% of your performance!

So focusing on the outcome of the game (what you can’t control) instead of on the things you can control (your performance) will, most likely, increase your anxiety. To manage pre-competition anxiety, it will be advantageous to focus on the controllable all aspects of your personal performance…to focus on what you need to do to perform at your best.

The athlete that is focused on controlling of his/her own skills and capabilities will be the one who wins the majority of the time.

Now you have some more mental strength tools to do your best and keep your nerves under control, now go use them and achieve peak personal performance.

What are some of your favorite techniques for eliminating anxiety?  Let me know in the comments below.

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Feb 122011
 
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Do we really have free will?Warrior Mind Podcast

Joe Dispenza – Evolve Your Brain and Eldon Taylor – Mind Programming would argue that we don’t…or at least we don’t exercise our free will

We have been programmed…er…educated by teachers, parents, religion, media, peers and friends.

Most of us only make choices on what we know.  We are selecting from a multipart question. i.e. should I do A, B or C today?

If we make choices based ONLY on what new know is that really free will?

Cultural Dictionary Definition of Free Will

The ability to choose, think, and act voluntarily. For many philosophers, to believe in free will is to believe that human beings can be the authors of their own actions and to reject the idea that human actions are determined by external conditions or fate. ( See determinism, fatalism, and predestination.)”

When we use our mental strength and to really start to exercise our free will we will be in our personal power and have the ability for consistent personal success and  peak personal performance.

Here’s today podcast on free will:

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

If you’d like to develop the mental strength so that you can exercise your free will pick up a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior today.

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Feb 102011
 
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Jim Thorpe at the 1912 Olympics

Image via Wikipedia

Recently, I received an email from an athlete looking for resources to guide him in the “how” of mental strength training. He indicated that he knows a little about the various mental strength skills and the importance of them, but has trouble actually performing the techniques.

This echoes comments I’ve heard from a numerous coaches and athletes.  It also confirms the opinion of many athletes – mental strength/mental training /sport psychology concepts are fairly easy to understand (concentration, self-confidence, goal setting, or motivation) – but these same concepts are tough to learn and difficult to put into practice.

Think for a minute about a wide receiver in football who yells at himself after dropping a critical pass in the end zone to “C’mon…focus…before your blow this game.” Can this athlete, who says he knows about focusing and the importance of keeping his mind in the game, effectively implement a refocusing strategy in the middle of a playoff game? He knows that he should, but can he?

The same could be said for a sales person in the middle of a negotiation.  He/she may be so concerned in making the sale that they lose their mental edge.  Sure, when the deal is done…or not, they can look back and realize what happened, but in the middle of battle…not so much.

Ask yourself this…”Have I learned and developed my mental training enough for my success, or does the wide receiver example have some truth in it for me?”

One of my goals on my post is to address the action part of the mental training and less on the “knowing” part.  Oh yea, did you know that the three deadliest words a person a can say, “I know that.”  We’ll get into how to apply specific mental strength skills in to action so that you’ll be prepared and ready to reach your peak performance.

Let us begin this session with the skill of goal setting. Yea, yea, yea…I can hear you already…not another session on goal setting.  So, let me ask you, if you’re really good at goal setting can you tell me exactly what do you want, how will you know you have it, all the steps necessary to archive it and what’s stopping you from getting it?

Didn’t think so…and that’s OK. I’m here to help you.

You see, most athletes already set goals…kind of…so the challenge is not in setting goals. Rather, the challenge is in setting the correct goals that will influence behavior and achieve your personal goal, that is, in setting effective goals. To do this, we’ll apply scientifically-derived goal setting principles. Research on goals tells us that the following factors consistently enhance the effectiveness of goal setting (1):

  • Goals should be specific (versus • general or “do your best” types of goals)
  • Goals should be moderately difficult so as to challenge
  • Short- and long-term goals should be set
  • Goals that relate to both outcome (e.g., Win, achieve a specific time) and the process of performance (“explode out of the blocks”) are important, but performance goals are controllable
  • Set goals in practice and competition
  • Goals need to be recorded and evaluated

That seems like a lot of things to think about and incorporate and there’s a simple acronym that will help in setting goals: SMARTER

S = Specific (and keep it simple and positive)

M = Measurable (it must be meaningful to you)

A = Achievable (is this something you CAN do?)

R = Realistic (is this goal really reasonable taking into account all areas of your life)

T = Time bound (when are you going achieve this goal)

E = Evaluate (document your results, are you making progress towards your goal?)

R= Revise (if you’re not making progress, or not in the time frame revise your goal or your actions in obtaining it)

The following exercise is one way of how to “do” goal setting effectively. Keep in mind that there is no best way to do this, but there probably is a best or certainly way that is better for you. Your job is to adapt it to your unique situation.

While you will read quickly through the following section, it is meant for you to come back to when you have time and can really put some thought into your responses.

1. Write down your season goal.

Notice the first word—WRITE. Commit this to paper to make it “real” and also enable you to honestly evaluate this and ensuing goals. Is your goal challenging yet realistic for you to accomplish with hard work and dedication? Is it positive?  That is, is it’s something you want instead of something you DON’T want. If you are like most athletes, you did not hesitate in knowing your long term goal.  But are your daily, weekly and monthly goals written down too? By writing down the subsequent “short” term goals and achieving them you’ll automatically achieve your long term goal and hit your peak personal performance.

2. Identify the primary skills and abilities you have and will need to achieve this goal.

Your long-term goal may be to win State or qualify for Nationals, but what is needed to accomplish this? Many athletes and coaches only focus on what’s missing.  This tends to unconsciously emphasize that the athlete is not good enough.  There will ALWAYS be room for improvement and to focus only on those areas can create doubt in the athlete.

Make list (yes another list) of all the qualities you possess in relation to your goal.  Keep adding to this list and read it everyday.  If you don’t think you have any ask a teammate, a coach or a fan.  They’ll be able to give you a ton!

Now on to the areas of improvement…some skills and abilities you may need could include developing greater strength, increasing flexibility, improving a specific aspect of technique or enhancing our emotional control during games.

List, specifically, the things you can and need to do to develop these skills and abilities. For example, suppose you need to develop core strength if you are to achieve your goal of running a sub-11 seconds 100 meters. You will need to identify the specific core exercises and proper progressions to develop this strength. It may be helpful to solicit input from your coach as to specific skills and abilities that will lead to long-term development and success.

4. Based on this goal breakdown, identify one thing you are going to work on today to help you reach your long-term goal. Then, do the same tomorrow and the next day.

Is the goal for practice specific enough such that you (or your coach) will know if you accomplish it? While your daily goal may seem far removed from where you want to be at the end of the season, it is a necessary step to get there.

Goals, when set effectively, can provide direction, enhance training motivation, and build confidence as you see success and improvement (that may otherwise go unnoticed). OK, now it’s time for you to get to work on the “doing” of setting goals.

References

  1. Weinberg, R. & Gould, D. (2007). Foundations of Sport and Exercise Psychology. Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.
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Feb 092011
 
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In Acknowledging for Personal Growth – Part I, I discussed the difference between acknowledging and encouraging as personal successwell as when we acknowledge others we are also recognizing that which is in ourselves.

Before I move on to Part II and other aspects of acknowledging, I’d like to thank my coaching school, ICA, for the support and much of the information about ‘Acknowledging.’

Celebration

Celebrating means giving yourself permission to stop for a moment and enjoy what you already have accomplished. It provides the opportunity to stop and take a look back in time and savor the moment. It also provides a chance to review what worked and what did not work. What you want to do more of in your life and what actions you will not repeat in the future. This is a time to acknowledge your achievement and personal success and to celebrate them.

Many of us are not in the habit of celebrating…at least, not the small things in life. Most people usually celebrate special events and major accomplishments. However, it is worth celebrating the small steps along the way that help us reach our major personal goals in life. Celebration is important because it gives us time to reflect on our accomplishments, our personal performance and to acknowledge our achievements; this in turn provides a sense of personal growth.

The art of celebrating also provides the opportunity for others the chance to participate in you personal performance, and allowing them to acknowledge us for what we have done. It also provides an opportunity for us to acknowledge the people in our lives who have supported and assisted us in reaching our personal goals and dreams. Hardly ever does anyone achieve something by themselves. An all-important step in goal setting that is sometimes overlooked is the need for celebration. When setting goals, one of the most powerful questions to ask yourself is: “How will I celebrate the achievement of this particular goal?

Creating structures for celebration builds in an automatic way to reward and reflect on the accomplishment(s). To support yourself, get into the habit of building in a structure for celebrating. This helps reinforce the concept of taking time to think about and enjoy the progress.

Ways that we can celebrate:

  • Buy something special, like one beautiful rose or some rich chocolate or a new power tool (that was for the guys)
  • Indulge in a treat that you have not experienced in a long time.
  • Take a bubble bath while sipping a favorite beverage…yes guys…you should try this too!
  • Get a massage at a local spa.
  • Take a trip to a favorite place.
  • Keep a gratitude journal.

Ways that we can celebrate in a work environment:

  • Take the team to see a sporting event.
  • Host a team building exercise
  • Keep a gratitude list on the lunch room wall
  • Make celebration a permanent agenda item for meetings.
  • Start with celebration before launching into problems or challenges.
  • Bring in some beautiful flowers to celebrate your success.

Celebration is so individual in its expression. Find out what it means to celebrate for each of your friends. What are they grateful for and how do they celebrate their achievements? Develop your own celebration list that will increase your sense of personal power and personal growth. This list can then serve as a way to create more celebrations as well as remove the overwhelming feeling from trying to think of something immediately.

Contemplation

  • What difference would it make in your life, over the next five years, if you received 50 percent more acknowledgment than you do today?
  • Think of a time in your life when you have been acknowledged for your personal performance…no matter the outcome, how did it make you feel?
  • Describe what life feels like when we make efforts without acknowledgment?
  • What can you celebrate right now?

Application

In my personal coaching, acknowledgment comes after my client’s have taken action. However acknowledgment is not just about the action, it is about who my client’s are ‘being’ while they are taking action. I acknowledge my client’s for their values and their purpose and not just their activity. I cheer them on, support them to take the next step with courage and mental strength, and help them to see what they did to get their results.

I don’t always acknowledge what is “successful.” Many times some of the best lessons come from what did not work out well, when it did not turn out to be exactly the way my client’s wanted it. As a personal coach, I then acknowledge what action they took, what lessons were learned and how it will now support them in their personal growth and personal development. This means that I acknowledge all the steps my client’s make from beginning to end.

As a point of reference, it’s important when acknowledging someone, to avoid the word “but” after saying something wonderful to them. For example, “that was great, but…” The word “but” in a sentence has a tendency to negate what was said before it.

When acknowledging, I want my client’s to feel good about what they did even if it did not produce the desired result. I emphasize the experience to learn from it in order to grow and improve upon it next time.

Remember, this is a process and not everyone is going to go out and get it right the first time. It takes time and this is why acknowledgment is so important because it supports others to learn and develop further. For me, it helps my client’s understand what aspects of what they did worked.

Holding a Vision

Part of holding a vision is also reminding my client’s of how far they have come. A powerful strategy I use for holding their vision is to have them look into their past to recall experiences they have had which seemed impossible but became possible. When we hold a vision for our clients we say things like:

  • What evidence do you have to prove to yourself that you can do this?
  • Tell me what happened when you were challenged with reaching for your personal goals (that they achieved)?

As a life coach, I help turn my client’s vision into reality, their dreams into an achievement and their personal goals into an accomplishment. Encouragement leads them to persistence and attainment.

You also can “coach” effectively by just using acknowledgement, encouragement, and celebration. If you simply help someone see and appreciate their strengths you will empower them to do better and reach for their own peak performance. If you acknowledge them when they are operating at their best, then you allow their “best self” to grow. When you encourage them at moments of self-doubt you will drive this doubt away. To focus on what is good in their life right now and what they are doing right will often produce significant results irrespective of other techniques.

Reflection

  • What would your life look like if you acknowledge yourself more often?
  • What would other’s lives look like if you acknowledge them more often?

References

Angier, Michael, 2006, Self Improvement and Motivation, SuccessNet.org

Kegan, Robert and Lahey, Lisa, 2001, How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work. Jossey-Bass, San Francisco

If you’d like to additional information on improving your mindset, confidence and personal performance grab a copy of, “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” now.  It will affect the way you think and act, so that you can live up to your ultimate personal power!

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and potential as well as develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

Please let me know your thoughts and how you have used ‘acknowledging’ in the comments below

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Feb 072011
 
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Achieving peak personal performance and creating personal power begins with a mental strength mindset and personal growthempowering beliefs.  Reaching your personal goals starts in the mind and finishes with peak performance…taking massive action.

This is one in a series of mental strength life coaching tips to help start your week of strong so that you can reach your personal goals and personal success.

I take one subject and run though a brief overview of it, then ask some very direct questions.  The intention of these virtual sessions is for you to write the questions in your success journal and then reflect on them and write your answers and thoughts in your journal.

These series of posts are for YOU!  If I’m not able to coach you personally one-on-one, I want you to at least get the benefit of “virtual” coaching.

Objective of this Mental Strength Tip:

To determine you belief’s about conflict see if you perceive any potential for personal growth in situations were conflict occurs.

Let’s Get Started:

Dictionary.com states ‘conflict’ as “a state of opposition between ideas, interests, etc; disagreement or controversy” and “a mental struggle arising from opposing demands or impulses.”

Let me ask you…how often does conflict present itself in your daily actives?  As a student in mental strength can you see how, by the second definition above, that conflict provides an opportunity to exercising your mental strength?

Questions to Uncover Beliefs about Mental Strength Thinking:

  • What roles has conflict played in your achievement of personal goals?
  • Do you believe there are times when conflict can be positive?
  • Can you remember a time when conflict accelerated your personal growth?

Unsupportive Beliefs about Conflict

  • Conflict makes me uncomfortable
  • Conflict is negative
  • Avoid conflict at all costs

Mental Strength Beliefs about Conflict

  • Conflict catapults personal growth
  • Conflict makes me think and contemplate
  • Conflict creates dialogue between individuals and team members

Outrageous Questions:

  • Why do avoid or area afraid of conflict?
  • What’s the worst thing that can happen in conflict?
  • Why are you offended by someone with an opposing view?

Reflective Questions:

  • Is there a possibility that conflicting opinions might accelerate growth?
  • How can I help you embrace conflict as a catalyst for positive change?
  • Would you be willing to purposely create conflict to infuse energy into a longstanding problem?

Mental Strength Coaching:

To be mentally strong is to embracing conflict a bit more every day… even though many of us have been taught to void it all costs.  Remember that the average personal loves to be comfortable, and conflict terrifies them.

I really like the definition of conflict as a mental struggle.  This fits SO well into the concept and practice of mental strength. In order to get stronger (at anything) there must be a “struggle” of some kind.  It’s up to you to label the struggle or conflict as empowering or disempowering.

Final Thought

Conflict doesn’t always mean yelling and screaming.  Conflict is a gap between two perceived different views.  It’s the job of the mental strength practitioner to recognize this gap and develop the techniques to bridge the gap…this can be thought of a negotiations or resolution.

In any case, you can get good at resolving conflict unless you face conflict.  This is one of the cornerstones to personal growth, a mindset to face your fears head on.

If you’d like to get started on developing a rock solid mindset for personal power,  peak human performance, goal setting or achieving your personal goals request your Introductory Consultation today!

Or, if you’d like to study on your own today, order a copy of “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior.” This is a fantastic e-book that helps you take control of your thoughts, develop success awareness and helps you tap into the powers of your unconsciousness mind to create the mental strength to succeed at anything!

OK…now it’s your turn!  Let me know about your thoughts on this subject in the comments below.

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Feb 032011
 
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In past post’s I discussed the challenge and mental strength required to set and stay on top of your goals.  IInner Strength discussed goals, goal setting and S.M.A.R.T.E.R goals.  The topic of S.M.A.R.T.E.R goals could take several articles just by itself, but for now I’ll stay on tragic….visualization.

Some also call this imagery, there is a difference, but for the purpose of this article the terms will be used interchangeably.

As with goal setting, visualization and most sport psychology/NLP in sports concepts are fairly easy to understand.   But they’re tough to implement effectively in practice and training, and more so under the pressure of competition.

Like goal setting, imagery or visualization is a term that’s familiar to most individuals and athletes. Visualization is creating a desired outcome or experience in your mind. Visualization has numerous benefits both on and off the playing field.  Here are a few:

  • Building confidence and inner strength
  • Learning and perfecting technical sport specific skills
  • Preparing for competitive situations
  • Managing anxiety and other emotions
  • Maintaining or developing motivation

To really emphasize the concept of imagery, this is what Hank Aaron said about the way he prepared before a game:

. . .I would start visualizing—like I’m standing at the plate with, say, runners at first and second, or second and third —how he’s (the pitcher) going to pitch me in that given situation. Then, I would start visualizing, for example, if the bases were loaded, how he would try to get me out…I would put myself in all these different positions and put him in the same positions and try to figure out what is best for him and what I am going to be looking for.” (1)

Visualization is much more than a random daydream or just “seeing” yourself succeed.  It is an extremely focused intention for improving personal performance.

Notice I didn’t say intention of wining….more on this later.

Think about this…would you consider running for a train or bus part of your physical training? Would you think that bringing grocery bags in from the car satisfies your strength training for the day?

Of course not!

The same holds true with mental strength training. The skills of visualization need to be learned and practiced; it is to be performed with purpose and with intention; it must be part of your daily mental training plan if you are serious about reaching your personal goals.

Following are some tips that will help you learn the skill of visualization.  As you become proficient you’ll be able to use these mental strength skills to visualize your way to peak performance.

The 5 Keys to Successful Imagery

1-  Imagery Effectiveness: How well you control the image; the vividness and clarity of the image and your ability to incorporate all the senses (sight, sounds, hearing, feeling and taste) into make the mental experience.  You want to make it as real as possible.

2- Visualize What You Can Control:  Sure you want to win, but in large part there are too many factors out of your control to make this happen. So, when you perform your visualization see yourself performing your moves perfectly. Controlling your body and how it executes specific maneuvers is 100% in your control.      

3 – Know The Exact Place And Time: When you visualize see yourself surrounded by the environment you would see at the event during the exact day, time and place of the event.  How this works is, suppose you’re going to be in a tack event at 2:00 PM.  See yourself on the starting line looking around. What would the stands look like? How hot (cool) would it be? How many people would be there?  You want to see everything as if you are then NOW. This part is still in the first person. 

4 – See Yourself In The First Person: When conducting your imagery exercise for a behavior or physical task, see the images as if you are looking through your own eyes.  Feel as if you are felling in your own body, hear as if you are hearing with your own ears.  Visualize yourself (through your eyes) performing your task perfectly.  I’m not big on instructing what not to do, but in this case it might be helpful.  Do not see yourself as if you are watching a movie…not yet at least. This will happen later in the next process.

5 – Move To Second Person: Once you have finished the event and you have performed perfectly slowly move from first person into second person.  That is, start to “drift” back and see yourself as if you are watching a movie.  This is important because if just leave the image in first person your unconscious may think that you’ve already finished this event and the “future pull” will not be created.  When you move to watching yourself your unconscious knows this has not taken place yet and will do everything it can to make it happen.  

How to Visualize

Find a quiet, relaxing environment, preferably sitting.  Sitting will help you stay awake.  Once you have mastered staying awaking sitting lying down is fine.  To start the practice of visualization pick a ‘non-sport’ place or object (something non-threatening so as not to arouse emotion when learning the skill) such as a favorite vacation spot, your family room or food items in your refrigerator. Mentally place yourself in the given location or holding a specific object—what do you see, exactly? What do you feel (i.e., hot sand, sun, soft carpet)? What do you smell? Manipulate yourself in the environment (i.e., walk on the beach, sit on your bed) or maneuver the object you are visualizing – that is, work on controlling the image by seeing and feeling yourself doing what you want to do. Spend time each day developing your imaging abilities, spending time focusing on the event in the finest of details, before progressing to applying imagery to your sport.

Integrating the skill of imagery into your every day activities provides you with opportunities to practice and further develop the skill. For example, in preparation for a meeting with your boss or coworker, visualize the encounter to prepare yourself. Or, take a minute to visualize details of the driving route before you get in the car to go to the store. Work on control, vividness and integrating all the senses.

Make visualization a planned and purposeful part of your training. Create or identify opportunities to integrate imagery into training. Doing so can enhance your practice performance as well as help you further develop your imagery abilities. Some examples; when focusing on technique in training, visualize correct execution of the skill prior to physical execution; before practice, use imagery to get in the right mindset and arousal level; after a great interval, shot or repetition, mentally review that practice success.

I would start with 5 minutes and then slowly work up to 15 minutes.  Once you have mastered a non-sport event for 15 minutes move on to visualizing your practice sessions.  From there move up to the event itself.

Make imagery a planned and purposeful part of competition. Similar to Hank Aaron, you can use imagery to prepare for competition by imaging various scenarios and the desired response or you can experience success via imagery to build confidence. Once your imagery ability is well developed, it can be integrated into competition preparation to enhance your performance.

References

1. Ravizza, K. and Hanson, T. Heads-up baseball: Playing the game one pitch at a time. Illinois: Masters Press,1995

Please let me know your experience or thoughts on visualization in the comments below.

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Jan 192011
 
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Confidence has been associated with many things like top human performance, being able to reach your personalmental strength goals, even having the inner strength to stand in your personal power. 

 I’d like to discuss further and before I do I’d like to thank my coaching school, ICA, for their assistance and inspiration for this article.

 Confidence does not mean having a big fat ego. Confidence doesn’t mean you think more of yourself thank others. Confidence doesn’t mean you are better than the next person. All of these feelings and thoughts are the result of low self esteem.

 Low self esteem = low levels of confidence = low personal power

Throughout the media and over time we have come to think of confidence and ego as the same things. With this confusion around the notion of confidence we have learnt to believe certain things about what confidence is and the mindset associated with it. If we see it as having a big ego then it is understandable that we think someone who has a big ego might look confident.

 The challenge is to remove the filters and glasses that support you in seeing people in this way and put on the new refreshing optimal vision glasses. Ego is lacking confidence and mental strength. At the moment when a person begins to lack confidence, they begin to feel doubt. They step outside of themselves to seek recognition. This is also the time when their ego appears.

 Confidence looks like this: Open to new things; See your self as part of others; Grateful; Moving forward; Positively Energized; Acknowledging; Self loving and caring; and Strong and powerful and as Cesar Millan would say, “Calm assertive.”

Confidence is gained by many means. We feel confident when we achieve personal goals that are aligned with our values and beliefs. When we lack confidence we are indecisive and uncertain. We doubt ourselves. Making decisions makes us confident and develops a mental strength mindset. It is making a choice. We don’t need to make decision making difficult as there is no wrong or right, there are no absolutes. We learn from everything we do. In making a decision think about what is best for you at that moment. You will gain great insights from your intuition.

 Use your inner strength and make the decision and move forward. Every step you take in moving forward will give great confidence and increase your personal power. Think of a young child as they take their first step. They hesitate initially, fearful of what might happen. Once they realize that nothing bad is going to happen they take another step, and then another. If you have observed this, you will know that their face starts to change from one of fear to uncertainty to intrigue to joy and then sheer excitement with lots of screams and giggles included. Adults standing by cheer them along. This boosts their confidence to take another step. Their support team is beside them, believing in them and celebrating their forward movement. They are achieving something new. There is no turning back now. They will keep practicing this skill and they continue to feel more and more confident. Their fears disappear to such an extent that parents sometimes have to grab them as they walk anywhere, over edges of balconies, etc. The sky is the limit for them. If a child never took their first step we would be concerned about them. We would think that perhaps there is something developmentally wrong with them.

 So why don’t we apply this thinking to ourselves?

Moving forward and taking that first step can be a little nerve racking at times but once we move past this fear, the feeling is sheer joy and exhilaration. Think of what you look like when you reach your full potential and expand in your personal growth.

 Now take the first step to achieving it. Trusting yourself is part of taking the first step. Trust your internal guidance system to take you to where you need to go, to achieve your life’s purpose.

 Self love and Self management are a set of behaviors. Self love is the philosophy underpinning these behaviors. A confident person is comfortable in his or her own skin. They are comfortable with their values and therefore are able to live aligned to their values. They operate from a perspective of gratitude, love and personal power for the wonderful life they have been given.

By loving ourselves we give others permission to love themselves. Self love is a challenge and a journey. In the “crowded room of life”, our sense of self can be buffeted and rocked by the images, ideas and messages coming at us.

 Unfortunately many of these messages either intentionally or unintentionally tell us that we are not good enough or that we are not worthy of being loved. Countering these messages to nurture self love requires mental strength and focus. We need personal goals and to plan and manage activities that build self love in the same way that we plan and manage anything that is important in our lives. Confidence comes from self love. When we go out of ourselves for recognition then ego steps in. To remain confident we need to believe in ourselves.

 By practicing self management and nurturing self love, we are able to reframe our unhelpful perspectives and live within a good place. If you live from a good place, believing that all is right with the world, even with its problems – you will be able to live in peace because everything is fine the way it is. So here is the confidence equation.

Confidence = Self management

Self management = Self awareness + Self belief + Self love

Personal Power = Confidence

Reflection

Self care – Those of us who have ever travelled on a plane will be familiar with the safety warning that tells us that, in the event of an emergency, we should organize our own oxygen first before assisting others with theirs. Airlines all around the world give this message. They know that many people’s natural inclination will be to help others first, even if they have to go without life-giving air to do it!!

They also know that unless people look after their own safety first, they will be of no use to those around them. This is a useful metaphor for many aspects of our life. Unless we take care of ourselves, by making sure we have enough “oxygen” to sustain us, we are of little use to those around us.

 This “oxygen” might consist of getting enough rest, maintaining a good diet, exercising, mental training and being aligned with our own values. When these things are in order, we operate in a space from which we can then comfortably give to others without becoming depleted ourselves. When management of the self goes out the window, doubt comes in the door. When our “oxygen” is low, we find it hard to maintain our re-framed perspectives and the old unhelpful perspectives start to rear their ugly heads once again. With peak human performance self management is not an option!

Self management activities should be planned, be part of your personal goals and turned into regular habits. If you have a problematic limiting belief in this area then gain support from a coach or friend. Ask him or her to support you in your self care. Through self care we gain self management. Through self management we gain self leadership. Through self leadership we feel confident, and with the mindset of confidence we can reach our peak personal performance.

 Contemplation

Describe how you feel and look when you are confident. What would be the reason for trying to prove yourself to someone? What do you think you will look like and feel when you achieve your vision? Write down the steps you need to take to feel fully confident.

 To be continued…

If you’d like to improve your mindset, confidence and personal performance grab a copy of, “Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior” now.  It will affect the way you think and act, so that you can live up to your ultimate personal power!

 

If you’d really like to make fast progress towards realizing your full personal power and develop the mindset of confidence, request your Introductory Consultation today!

 

OK…what are your thoughts about confidence and the ego?  Please let me know in the comments below. 

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