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Mental Strength

08/04/2020

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What You Want Most vs. What You Want Now

It’s been a difficult week. You’re exhausted, drained and praying for the weekend. Friday evening is here, and you are faced with some choices: You could continue your Armed Forces Triathlon training at the gym, join your battle buddies for happy hour, or watch your favorite shows at home with a takeout pizza. What will it be?

During the course of life, your self-control is regularly tested when it’s necessary to choose between what you really want and what you just want now. What you really want usually involves big, long-term goals involving your career, your family, your life experiences and your health. You are probably aware of what is required to achieve these big goals, but it’s usually very difficult to get yourself to do it day-in-day-out. Here are 3 ways that will help you choose what you really want over short-term gratification.

Clearly define what it is that you want

What is your biggest desire in life? Certain people can easily answer this question, but for some, the answer is not so clear. Whichever it is for you, spend some time thinking about and defining what you really want, in order to build up your ability for self-control. This will enable you to keep your big goals in sight and reduce the amount of distraction that happens when you indulge yourself in short-term gratification. Consider these questions:

what you want most
  • What values do you use to define yourself?
  • What do you want people to remember you for?
  • What are the big goals that are worth sacrificing smaller things for?
  • What kind of impact would you like to leave on the world?
  • What kind of things do you want to achieve and experience in your life?

Now you have a clearer picture of what’s really important to you, work out how to keep it constantly in mind. You could do this by having a daily prayer or reflection, or it could be a poster on your wall or a background on your phone. Whatever you choose, it will serve to remind you of what’s important when you feel tempted by something that doesn’t align with your goals, which will keep you motivated to stay on the right path. Consciously choosing between quality family time and happy hour makes it easier to make the right choice rather than thinking about how nice some beer and chicken wings might be at the time. Making the connection between your daily decisions and what you value most can really help you achieve the self-control required to get to your big goals in life.

Alter your surroundings to bring what you want most closer to what you want now

One of the key challenges when you want to achieve your long-term goals is the temptation to do what feels easiest, or even to do nothing at all. Examples would include watching TV all afternoon or getting fast food instead of making a proper dinner. It’s human nature to choose the path of least resistance. However, you can actually change your environment to make doing what really matters easier than doing other tempting things. An example of this could be that, if you are trying to eat healthier, you can prepare healthy meals in advance so that things can be quickly grabbed when you’re feeling hungry and might otherwise reach for an unhealthy snack. If TV is a problem for you, remove the batteries from the remote and keep your running outfit on the couch so that it’s ready for you when you arrive home.

Prepare your brain to succeed

Self-control depletes during the course of the day as you have to tackle tricky situations. As your brainpower decreases, it becomes more and more difficult to make decisions that are aligned with your long term goals. A great way to keep the focus on the big goals is to make use of “When…Then” phrases in your own brain. These are designed to help you make the right decisions by making them automatic. When situation X happens, I’ll do Y to stay aligned with my goals. An example of this would be “When I come home from a day at work, then I will play with my daughter for at least an hour.” Having this statement prepared will make the choice an automatic one, instead of any other decisions coming into play during the moment. ‘When…Then” phrases prepare your brain for achievement in the same way that advanced meal preparation can prepare your environment.

Conclusion

Throughout the course of your life, you will have to face choices between what really matters and what feels right at the time. The decisions you make and the way in which you choose to live will have a direct effect on your long-term success and self-esteem. When you clearly define what matters most to you and prepare your environment and your brain in the right way, you can gain the self-control required to achieve the things you most want in life.

You are your biggest supporter.

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