Death as an Advisor and a Friend
The subject of death is brought up on a regular basis when I counsel people at the exclusive Warriors Quest Retreat.
Not many people can view death as a friend, but it can and MUST be looked at this way!
I typically draw a circle on paper to help illustrate the discussion. Then I tell people the circle represent their world and everything known to them. You may ask don’t we all exist in the same world? The answer is not really.
We just think we do because of certain things on which we agree. Yes, we all admit grass has a green color, sky is a shade of blue, a table often is made from wood and rooms are of a measurable size. However, there are many facts that go into making up our individual worlds.
This is often where words fall short of explaining this adequately. We use words in our attempt to illustrate our complex worlds in the same terms, so that we provide the idea we are all living in a comfortable haven instead of the fact we are all on our own, with a scary void surrounding us.
Is the world a scary void that is filled with death or is it a pleasant, loving place to live?
You can only answer this if there is only one reality and world. However, there is more than one world and you must trust me on this. We exist within our individual worlds. This is true no matter who you are. We may share some things and agree on a few more and this makes it appear that we all live in the same world together.
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I place an X in the middle of the circle to stand for you. Just sit down in the middle of your world where you know what is going on completely. This is where you are very comfortable. Now, I will erase the X and place it on the outer edge of the circle with half on the inside and half on the outside.
The X still represents you. You have been forced over to the edge of the world in which you feel comfortable. You have looked into the face of death. This is uncomfortable and scary because you have been coerced into seeing something you do not desire to see. You are in no way ready to deal with death. This is not a warm and fuzzy feeling at all.
Death as an Advisor
After you face death and learn the truth about this for yourself, the world you live in will become larger and once again, you will feel comfortable in it. I am going to erase the circle now, but leave the X and will draw a larger circle around the X that stands for you.
See how your known world has now become bigger?
However, do not attempt to go back into the zone where you feel comfortable as this would be a mistake.
The only way to do this is to hide and your destiny makes you find the hidden person. Growth is a much better choice as it allows you to see more. Avoiding seeing all you need to is lying to yourself and is counterproductive to the growth process. This is so difficult and you could cause yourself harm. You could become dishonest in your very soul. This makes you be full of distrust and fear of others as well as your own feelings and thoughts.
A way to handle this is to views death as an advisor. Replace self-importance with death for your advisor. Using self-importance in this way is like you becoming grouchy just because you did not get to eat chocolate cake after supper. You desired this cake and did not get what you wanted and you let everyone know your displeasure as if you are a small child. You are all pouty and throw a tantrum. Use death as a friend and imagine today is your last day on earth!
How do you want your last day to be?
How upset will you get if your brother got the last piece of cake if you knew your death is going to take place this very night?
Will you still get mad at you father for disciplining you if you knew he will die tomorrow in an accident? This is how death can advise you and you can see why so many do not turn to it.
There are two ways to go about this. You can do it with fear or love. I don’t mean the sappy kind of love. I mean for you to face it bravely and openly. You can have a bit of fear, but move forward anyway.
Accept the fact that death is as glorious as the life you lead, although you may not yet totally believe this fact. You could go with fear and try to forget and hide. However, remember that destiny finds the one who hides.
Very scary, unhappy and uncomfortable work this is. However, it leads you to increased happiness, new places and we consider it our hidden plan at least to me. We are supposed to evolve and grow, and not remain the same. I think we feel pain when we try to remain the same. Just ask yourself what your reaction would be if your mother was sick and the doctor just informed you that she would die soon.
You do understand that your body dies sometime during your life even when you may or may not believe in immortal life for your soul. Death looms large in our lives as if it were an elephant in a room. We act as if it is not a fact of our lives just because we fear it. It takes an enormous amount of energy to pretend and as you become a warrior, it is quite evident that your energy is your most important bodily attribute.
You have to conserve your energy or lose it to that elephant in the room that is sipping martinis and smoking Cuban cigars, while blowing the smoke to the point that it envelopes your head and shoulders.
Death will whisk you away when it is your time. In the event that death is a bridge to another existence, where you have a new brain and body with no memories of your other life, or some type of eternal sleep that is unaware of any surroundings, it is not over until it is truly over.
You will waste your energy and time if you worry about how your life will end or when it will do so, or whether something waits for you after death occurs. Enjoy your existence and live every moment as if it is your last moment. Be in charge of your existence. Do not waster your life on deceiving yourself or others, and petty, unimportant things. Perform important tasks and make your life meaningful.
Embody your death, trust it, communicate with it and let it be your advisor. Death destroys self-importance as it brings all things in the universe together on the same level. The One gives us the gift of death as it interjects purpose and meaning into all our lives. The Yogi may say of this, “we would die of boredom if it weren’t for death”.
Do not put things off until tomorrow because tomorrow may never happen.
At Develop the Mental Strength of a Warrior Intensive you will learn to view death as an advisor and friend.
