Commit to Something: Warrior Mind Podcast #337
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the Warrior Mind Podcast.
In this episode of the Warrior Mind Podcast I’m going to talk about a behavior that has got me fired up, commitment, lack of more specifically. More and more people are afraid to commit. I don’t mean just in relationships, but in just getting together.
The following points are from “If You Commit to Nothing, You’ll Be Distracted By Everything.”
3 Lessons on Mental Toughness and Commitment
The mental toughness of the Marathon Monks is incredible and their feats are unlike most challenges that you and I will face. But, there are still many lessons we can learn from them.
- “Complete or Kill.”
The Marathon Monks are an extreme version of the “complete or kill” mentality. But you can take the same approach to your goals, projects, and work.
If something is important to you, complete it. If not, kill it.
If you’re anything like me, then you probably have a bunch of half-finished, half-completed projects and ideas. You don’t need all of those loose ends.
Either something is important enough to you to complete, or it’s time to kill it. Fill your life with goals that are worth finishing and eliminate the rest.
- If you commit to nothing, you’re distracted by everything.
Most of us never face a challenge with the true possibility of death, but we can learn a lot from the monk’s sense of commitment and conviction. They have clarified exactly what they are working toward and for seven years they organize their life around the goal of completing the Kaihogyo. Every possible distraction is rendered unimportant.
Do you think the monks get distracted by TV, movies, the internet, celebrity gossip, or any of the other things that we so often waste time on? Of course not.
If you choose, you can make a similar decision in your life. Sure, your daily goals may not carry the same sense of urgency as the Kaihogyo, but that doesn’t mean you can’t approach them with the same sense of conviction.
We all have things that we say are important to us. You might say that you want to lose weight or be a better parent or create work that matters or build a successful business or write a book — but do you make time for these goals above all else? Do your organize your day around accomplishing them?
If you commit to nothing, then you’ll find that it’s easy to be distracted by everything.
- It doesn’t matter how long your goal will take, just get started.
On Day 101, the Tendai monks are thousands of miles and 900 days from their goal. They are setting out on a journey that is so long and so arduous that it’s almost impossible for you and I to imagine. And yet, they still accept the full challenge. Day after day, year after year, they work.
And seven years later, they finish.
Don’t let the length of your goals prevent you from starting on them.
Enjoy this podcast on making a commitment
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The following excerpt is from “Do You Have a Fear of Commitment?”
http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/do-you-have-a-fear-of-commitment/
Fear of commitment: What’s behind it?
At the heart of all fear is the dread that something might be lost. So someone who has trouble committing may fear losing options. But every decision we make in life, by definition, means losing other options. No matter what you do, there is always another kind of life you could have lived. Commitment phobes fear making the ‘wrong decision’.
There’s something else. People who fear committing to a relationship will often have difficulty committing to other decisions, too. They may have trouble deciding on careers, where to travel on vacation, or even what to eat in a restaurant. So often, a strong relationship pattern will be echoed in other parts of a person’s life. So what does someone who seems desperately fearful of commitment really want?
Fearing what we need
The irony is that fear of commitment may mask a desperate desire for the intimacy and security that comes from a healthy long-term relationship. Sometimes we most fear what we most need – in case it doesn’t ‘work out’.
It may be that, deep down, the person fears being rejected themselves or feels that the consequences of a future relationship breakdown will be all the worse the more time they invest in that relationship. Maybe they have experienced feeling trapped in a relationship before or perhaps they have a history of painful breakups, of hurting and being hurt. Or they may have witnessed the rocky relationships of parents and have the ‘blueprint’ that ‘no relationship ever works out’.
But any fear will have consequences if prolonged and intense enough – and that’s a problem.
The consequences of a fear of commitment
There are dangers involved with not committing, which include the possibility of a lonely life and the throwing away of perfectly good relationships, as the baby gets thrown out with the proverbial bathwater.
Fear of commitment can have devastating emotional consequences, both for the commitment phobe and the people with whom they get involved. Jean, another client, described how her boyfriend of three years just walked out on what seemed to her a perfect relationship:
“It was like he was making up excuses for why the relationship had to end, but none of them rang true to me. I felt there must have been something else going on, something he was afraid of. I could understand it if things had been really rocky, but they hadn’t been. I was heartbroken.”
But besides running from seemingly good or promising relationships, what other relationship ‘symptoms’ might the fearer of commitment display?
You Can’t Improve What You Can’t Measure
The Mental Toughness Questionnaire is an assessment that determines someone’s Mental Strength…at this moment. The questionnaire also provides tips on improving your Mental Strength. You can request the Mental Toughness Assessment by going to http://MentalStrengthMastery.com
Request an Introductory Consultation right now if you wish to learn additional information on expectations, confidence and acceptance.
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